


Playing cards and lotus petals

by Crowned_clowns



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Love Triangles, M/M, im bad at tags, it’s gay, kidnap, love square?, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2020-10-28 04:50:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 26,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20772827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowned_clowns/pseuds/Crowned_clowns
Summary: Taking place right after the end of the anime.Allen is on the run from the black order as well as the Noah’s, with the 14th and the deadly Apocryphos constantly making him collapse, Allen will find that other desire him as well.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fiction in a long time...
> 
> But here. Try and enjoy? It takes place right after the end of Hallow.
> 
> My grammar isn’t the best but I’m working on it! I have more chapters that I will post later.

Allen panted harshly as he stumbled through the ally way, another ‘noah attack’ hitting him. The 14th was relentless in trying to take over his mind. He could hear Timcpanpy’s wings flap beside him as the little yellow ball tried to help, though it wasn’t doing much...

“I’m fine, Tim.” Allen managed to gasp before leaning against a wall and sliding down it. He felt dizzy and his arm burned, as tho the white feathers where trying to push their way through his skin. 

He winced and grimaced as the attack hit him, after what seemed like eternity, the pain died down and he slowly caught his breath. He flicked his silver eyes to Timcampy then slowly stood up.

He walked back out onto the street and took a deep breath before walking towards the train station. He was trying to put as much distance between him and the black order, as well as the horrifying animated innocence, Apocryphos. 

Allen shuddered at the thought and let out a sigh when he felt Tim sit on his head, digging his little golden toes into Allen’s hair. The Exorcist let the smallest smile curve his lips at the familiar and comforting feeling. 

“I’m ok now, Tim.” He said softly to his beloved golem as he was stepping onto the train. He didn’t know where he was heading, he just wanted to get away. 

He found an empty compartment and sat by the window, looking out and letting out a sigh that fogged up the glass, barely noticing Tim fly down and lay in his lap, curling up. 

He was lost in thought... the friends he was leaving behind, Lenalee, Crory, lavi...kanda... he felt his heart burn. His best friend, yuu kanda. Allen didn’t even know if kanda was even alive anymore...

He shook his head hard at the thoughts, trying to shake them away. “Kanda is alive...” he mumbled to himself then leaned back and sighed, putting a gloved hand on Timcanpy, closing his eyes and slowly drifting off from exhaustion.

He woke with a start hours later, he glanced around in panic before relaxing again, it was dark in the compartment except for the gas lamp on the wall. He looked down at Tim and smiled lightly before looking back out the window, watching the dark country side go by. He let out another sigh then jumped when the compartment door open. Allen stood quickly, knocking the gold ball from his lap, tim bouncing onto the floor. 

In the dark entry way, stood Tyki Mikk, the Noah of pleasure. He was in his human form, glasses reflecting the fire of the lamp. His lips spread into a wide grin. “Hey Allen.” He said Coolly in his low voice. He casually walked in and sat across from Allen. “Don’t be rude, sit down.” 

Allen stayed standing, his body tense, his akuma hand twitching, ready to activate at the slightest movement from the Noah.  
“Relax, bean sprout.” Tyki smirked. “I have no intentions on fighting you right now.”  
“Don’t call me that!” Allen snapped. Tho he would never admit it, only kanda got to call him ‘shortstack’ or ‘bean sprout’. 

Tyki rolled his eyes behind his glasses and lit a cigarette, slowly blowing the smoke out. “Fine, Allen, I just wanna talk....” 

Allen hesitated before sitting back down slowly, watching Tim flutter over and sit back in Allen’s lap. “What do you want, Tyki...?” Asked the younger male.

Tyki blew out smoke with a sigh. “I’ve come to warn you....Apocryphos is hot on your trail. We’ve been watching him.” 

Allen shuddered at the thought of that...monster. “Why would you warn me?” He asked softly, his eyes locking with the older males. “You’re one of us.” Tyki said simply, shrugging lightly.

Allen narrowed his eyes, clenching his fists. “I’m not one of yo-.” His angry outbursts was cut off by seering pain in his arm, he let out a strangled and pained cry. It felt like Neah was trying to claw his way out of Allen’s throat.  
What a time for a noah attack...

Allen felt arms wrap around him and someone was talking to him. Tho he couldn’t remember who he had been with. 

“Nea, it’s me, it’s Tyki” said a soft voice in his ear. “Tyki...” Came Allen’s voice, tho Allen didnt speak the words. “My Tyki” He felt his hand lift up to cup someone’s cheek. He felt like his body was being controlled by something else. 

“That’s right, your Tyki.” Said the voice in a gentle, almost loving tone. “Nea, you’re in danger, you have to take over Allen’s body.”  
“Not yet.” Whispered Allen. “He’s not ready yet.” He tensed up harshly and he watched the golden white feathers sprout from his arm “Tyki, watch over him. Keep him safe.” And with that, Allen blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

Allen woke to the sun in his face, he grimaced softly and shifted, he had his head on something cushy and there was weight on his head, tho not the familiar weight of Tim. Then he tensed up when he felt fingers slide thru his hair. Lenalee? No...road!? Nono...  
“Finally awake I see.” Came a cool mans voice. Allen shot up, his face red. Tyki sat there, looking smug and cocky as always. 

“What the hell!?” Allen demanded angrily. “Calm down.” Tyki sighed. “you collapsed, I was simply cushioning your head.” He sneered.  
Allen rubbed the spot Tyki had been petting, as tho he had bugs in his hair. “Don’t do that....” he mumbled softly, clearly uncomfortable.  
“Alright, Alright.” Tyki rolled his eyes and sighed, Looking almost sad. “Anyway, we’re almost at the station, we’re at some tiny village that I don’t care enough about to remember the name.” He stood and stretched.

Allen sat down slowly and sighed lightly, still trying to process his thoughts. “Neah....” He said softly, more to himself. “What about him?” Asked Tyki.  
“Why does he have to be attached to me....?” He sighed softly. Tyki rolled his eyes and took his glasses off to clean them. “Because he did, you should feel honored, Allen, being a member of the Noah clan is a wonderful duty.”  
“Honored?” Scoffed Allen. “What honor is there in hating humanity?”  
Tyki hummed and looked at Allen with piercing eyes. “You’d have to be a Noah to understand.”  
“Technically I am....” Allen mumbled then grimaced when he felt the train lurch as it slowed. Tyki replaced his glasses and grinned. “Well then, I’ll be seeing you, Allen.” He let his fingertips caress Allen’s cheek, making the boy shudder, before exiting the compartment.

*** 

About an hour later, Allen stepped off the train and looked around, Tim’s tiny toes gripping Allen’s hair so not to fall off. The white haired boy sighed and he started walking into town, he desperately needed to eat before he got on another train.

He found a tavern and walked inside, finding a corner table and sat down before ordering food quickly. He put his chin in his hand and watched out the window. Becoming lost in thought again, he missed his friends...and the whole tyki thing had shaken him, his Noah attacks where getting more frequent and intense....what if he had one during a battle? He’d be dead..  
He was snapped out of his daze as food was set in front of him, which he quickly scarfed down, feeding Tim along the way. 

He soon finished his food and leaned back with a contempt sigh, putting a hand on his stomach. The next train didn’t leave till the next morning so he’d had to get a room for the night..his thoughts began to wander again when he suddenly felt eyes on him.  
He glanced around then locked eyes with the grumpy glare of none other then Yuu Kanda. His narrowed eyes on the white haired boy.  
The fear hit Allen like a train, Kanda was going to destroy him and he could see it in his eyes. He immediately panicked when Kanda got up and walked over to him. The Japanese man crossed his arms in front of Allen and growled. “Short stack!” He barked. “What the hell are you doing!?” 

“K-Kanda!” Allen couldn’t help but smile like a moron, but winced when Kanda smacked him upside the head. “Stop smiling!” Kanda snapped, but Allen could see the sparks in Kanda’s icy eyes. “It’s good to see you, short stack..” 

Allen couldn’t help himself and hugged Kanda tightly, putting his forehead on the taller exorcists chest. “I was so worried....” he mumbled sadly.

Kanda’s whole body tensed up and his eyes got wide, not used to physical affection from Allen. “Uh...yah....you too..” he grumbled and patted his back. “Now get off before I punch you.” 

Allen quickly sprung away and smiled softly. “What all happened...? Alma...?” He immediately regretted the question as he saw the light in Kanda’s eyes die. “Alma’s....gone...” he mumbled, turning his head away to hide his eyes behind his bangs. “Probably for the best...”  
Allen frowned and nodded lightly “I’m sorry, Kanda....” he mumbled softly, looking up at him, then the real panic hit him. Kanda was part of the order....kanda could tell the order where he was...

Kanda smirked. “Let me guess, you think I’m hunting you for the order, don’t you?”  
Allen glanced around, looking for any other order members then looked at Kanda and nodded shakily.  
Kanda rolled his cold eyes. “Well I’m not, I’m not in the order anymore either.” He growled, then his face softened only slightly. “Tho I have been hunting you.”  
Allen frowned. “Why...?” He asked softly, worried about the answer.  
“You’ve given me a reason to live.” Kanda sighed. Allen’s whole face went red, “What!?”  
Kanda rolled his eyes and growled softly “chill out, short stack.” He huffed, tho Allen could see the pink in the mans cheeks. “You helped me, I owe you now.”  
Allen blinked a few times in shock. “So..you left the order..?” He asked and glanced around, something about Kanda was missing... “wait...where’s mugan?” 

Kanda sighed lightly but rolled up his sleeve to show Allen the Red Cross on his arm “mugan turned into what Lenalee has” he said then grabbed a chair and sat down. “Sit down.” He growled.  
Allen slowly sunk into his chair and watched kanda. “Where you heading anywhere?” Allen asked softly.  
Kanda shook his head. “just trying to get away....you?”  
Allen shrugged lightly “same...we can travel together.” Kanda grimaced a little but nodded. “Oh boy....” he mumbled. “Luckily I already have a room.” he wrinkled his nose. “the only room left.”  
Allen grimaced “oh wonderful.....” he sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have like 3 more chapters and nothing better to do with my life!

After talking for a while, the two walked up to the room. Allen paled a little at the sight of the small bed. “Are we both going to fit?” He asked and looked at kanda. “No, that’s why you’re sleeping on the floor.” Kanda said gruffly and sat on the bed.

Allen let out a tiny whine and his shoulders slumped. “Ah man...” he mumbled and sat on the floor.  
He grunted when Kanda threw the pillow at his head and looked at him. “Wha?” 

“I’ve got the bed, you can have the pillow.” Kanda said as he started to take his long hair down.

Allen watched Kanda and hugged the pillow. Kanda has such beautiful dark hair... Allen blushed and shook his head lightly then laid down, tucking the pillow under his head. He heard Kanda lay down and let out a sigh.  
“Night Kanda....” Allen mumbled softly.  
Kanda just grunted.

Allen lay awake, unable to sleep. The floor cold and uncomfortable, he felt himself start to shiver. 

“Allen.” Came Kanda’s soft voice in the dark. “Come on, get up here, it’s starting to snow outside.” 

“You sure?” Asked Allen softly, sitting up lightly.  
“Hurry up.” Kanda growled, moving over so Allen had some room. “Just don’t touch me...” 

Allen climbed up and lay beside Kanda, careful not to touch him. “Thanks...” he said softly.  
“Shut up and sleep” Kanda growled in his ear.  
Allen curled up under the blanket and slowly fell asleep.

***  
Allen woke to something warm pressed against his back, an arm was draped across him. Allen looked at the hand that was gripping his and flushed. kanda was spooned up against Allen.

The younger exorcist held perfectly still and quickly shut his eyes when he felt kanda stir, Kanda’s arms pulling Allen closer to his body for warmth, Before pulling his arms away and grumbling. Kanda sat up and shoved Allen. “Wake up!” He snapped.

Allen jumped and sat up. “I’m awake!” He squeaked. Kanda practically shoved him off the bed and got up. Starting to pull his hair up.

Allen climbed out of bed and shivered, turning to look at the window, the street outside covered in a thick layer of snow. “God it’s cold...” he mumbled softly. 

Kanda glanced at him. “were going to have a hell of a time trying to get to the station....” 

Allen nodded “we’ll have to bundle up.” He grabbed his scarf and grabbed Tim from the air and stuffed him in his jacket to keep him warm. 

The young exorcist followed kanda out of the tavern and immediately started to shiver, it was freezing! The two trudged thru the calf deep snow toward the station.  
After almost an hour, they arrived, Allen’s pants where soaked and he was shivering harshly, kanda wasn’t much better, his long hair had melting snow in it. 

Allen let out a tiny sigh then smiled at kanda. “Good fun.”  
Kanda glared at Allen. “Just go get us tickets,” he growled then turned away to shake snow from his hair. Allen watched kanda for a moment then turned away and walked to get them tickets. 

He walked back a moment later and smiled softly. “The train Boards in a few minutes,” 

Kanda nodded and stood up, stretching. “Good! I don’t want to stay here.” He grumbled.

A moment later, the two exorcists where sitting in a compartment together, Allen petting Tim gently, watching kanda take his coat off. He couldn’t help stare, tho he quickly looked away when kanda turned to look at him, “what are you looking at?” He growled. 

Allen flushed lightly. “nothing.” He said quickly. Kanda scoffed softly and sat across from allen, pulling off his boots to let them dry. “Our clothes are gonna be damp for ages....” he grumbled.

“Good thing we have a long way.” Allen said, copying kanda, taking his soaked boots off and leaning back.

Kanda let out a small sigh and looked out the window, seeming to get lost in his own head. Allen watched him, as tho trying to memorize his face. They sat there in silence for quite a while before Allen spoke up. “Hey kanda...” 

kanda blinked and glared at Allen. “What?” He growled. The boy shrunk slightly. “Why...why only soba noodles?” He asked in a serious tone. “It’s all you ever eat....”  
Kanda death glared him. “Seriously?” 

“Yes seriously! In all the years I’ve known you. Only soba noodles...” 

kanda sighed with an irritated face. “My taste buds are heightened...it’s one of the only things I can actually eat without over whelming me...” he grumbled.

Allen blinked in shock then grinned. “That’s adorable.” He teased.

Kanda looked like he was ready to murder. “Did you just call me adorable!?” 

Allen snorted and laughed, his laughter was suddenly turned to a cry a pain and he lurched forward, falling to the floor. His vision turning white as he heard someone call his name from somewhere in the distance and he felt someone lift him up.

“Shortstack! Shortstack! Allen!” 

“Kanda.....tyki....” he groaned.  
“It’s kanda. Allen what’s going on?” He asked and held the white exorcist close to his chest.  
“14th.” Allen managed to choke out. “Apocryphos.” He gasped.  
Kanda cursed and held Allen close, not sure what to do.  
Allen opened his now yellow eyes and looked up at kanda. “You know...” he mumbled. “You’re beautiful, it’s calming.” He then grimaced, Neah was forcing words out of his mouth.

Kanda turned six shades of red and stared at Allen, baffled. “I’m going to assume that’s the crazy talking.” He growled softly.

Allen suddenly sat up and leaned his face close to Kanda’s, his skin turning a light shade of olive. “What’s wrong kanda...?” He cooed softly. “Did I get you flustered?”

Kanda leaned away and narrowedh his eyes. “I suggest you back up,” Kanda growled.

Allen/nea grinned and giggled, getting closer to Kanda. He grabbed one of the front pieces of Kanda’s dark hair and wond it between his fingers. “Am I making you upset, yuu?” He cooed and put his face close to Kanda’s, their noses brushing  
.  
Kanda started at him with wide eyes then shoved him away hard and pinned him down. “DAMN IT BEAN SPROUT!!” He yelled and raised a fist to punch him then froze when he realized that Allen had passed out. “What the hell...?” Kanda mumbled and sat back, watching Allen’s unconscious body.


	4. Chapter 4

Allen woke with a start, he was Laying on the floor, Kanda’s jacket tucked under his head. He groaned softly and sat up, he’d been passing out a lot more then he would like... he looked around and his eyes met a sleeping kanda, sleeping on the cushioned bench, his arm under his head, breathing softly. Allen reached out a hand and very lightly brushed hair from Kanda’s face. He studied his face, from his high cheek bones to the ridge of his jaw. He moved away quickly when kanda stirred but the male didn’t wake.  
Allen let out a relieved sigh and climbed up onto his own bench and looked out at the snow covered landscapes that swept by.  
“You’re awake...” Kanda’s voice made Allen jump and he looked at him. “Oh, yah...”  
kanda sat up and pushed his hair back. “You blacked out, which is lucky because i was about ready to beat the Noah out of you.”  
Allen grimaced. “Really glad I passed out.....”  
Kanda scoffed lightly and stretched. “You said some pretty weird stuff, do you remember any of it?”  
“No....” Allen lied, he remembered all of it, he felt like crawling out of his skin in embarrassment...  
Kanda eyed him, then huffed and leaned back. “So what the hell is going on with you?”  
Allen frowned. “I wish I knew...I only know bits and pieces” he sighed softly.  
Kanda rolled his eyes. “That tells me SO MUCH!” He snapped.  
Allen sighed again. “I’m sorry, kanda...I only know parts myself....”  
He growled and looked away “shit...” he mumbled and watched out the window. “What the hell are we supposed to do then? How am i supposed to deal with Noah Allen who wants in my.....never mind...” kanda blushed lightly then looked at Allen. 

Allen looked a bit confused then sighed. “I don’t know....” he mumbled softly. He looked at Tim and sighed again, petting him gently. He could also feel Kanda’s eyes on him, tho he didn’t look up.  
“Allen.” Came Kanda’s voice, softer then normal.  
His silver eyes flicked to the older male. “Yes...?” he said softly.  
“What’s going on with you....?”  
“So many things....” Allen grimaced. “But I don’t know half the things that are wrong....” he mumbled sadly.  
Kanda grimaced and looked back outside. “Shit.” He mumbled again.  
Allen sighed sadly and leaned his head on the window.

***

Hours later, kanda and Allen exited the train, the snow had been cleared from the roads, tho it was still bitterly cold. Allen shivered and held Tim close under his coat.  
Kanda wrinkled his nose and started to walk. “Let’s go.” He grumbled.  
Allen hurried after him and whined. “I hate how cold it is....” he mumbled.  
“Stop complaining.” Kanda snapped.  
Allen flinched slightly and kept following. They walked into a tavern and ordered a room, tho again, only one was available.

Kanda growled and scoffed. “You’ve got to be kidding me...” he grumbled.  
Allen glanced at Kanda and gave him a sheepish smile. “Oh boy, we can share the bed again.” He teased.  
If looks could kill, Allen would be dead.  
Kanda gave Allen a shove and walked toward the stairs. Allen quickly following, something was off about his friend...  
Kanda set his stuff down and started to pull his layers off, Allen doing the same.  
Allen sat on the bed and watched Tim fly around the room, jumping a little when kanda sat beside him.  
Kanda had taken his hair down, his hair in his face.  
“Kanda?” Allen Asked softly, he hesitated then put his hand on Kanda’s.  
Kanda flinched But didn’t pull away. “What?” He asked in a low voice.  
“Are you ok?” Allen mumbled.  
Kanda nodded lightly. “Just....thinking....”  
Allen watched him and frowned then hesitantly moved Kanda’s hair to the side with his other hand.  
Kanda glared at him but he also looked like he wanted to cry.  
“It’s ok kanda...” allen whispered softly. “You can cry if you need.”  
Kanda looked away. “I don’t cry.” He growled.  
“But you want to..”  
kanda yanked his hand away. “Piss off.” He growled and lifted his head.  
Allen frowned more. “ok ok. Calm down.” He looked away  
Kanda huffed and laid down, his back to Allen.

Allen watched kanda then slowly laid beside him. “Night kanda.....”  
kanda stayed silent..  
Allen laid awake for hours, watching the snow fall before he slowly fell asleep.

***  
Allen woke to kanda spooning him again, pressed hard against the younger male. He blushed and held still, enjoying the warmth that came from kanda. He closed his eyes and smiled lightly, very lightly holding Kanda’s hand. This was pleasant...Allen was actually enjoying himself, he felt...for the first time in a while, safe, right there in Kanda’s arms. He rolled over at one point and pushed his face into Kanda’s chest.  
Kanda shifted and buried his nose into Allen’s hair, squeezing him closer, making Allen tense up lightly. Kanda slowly opened his eyes and looked at Allen. “What are you doing?” He grumbled.  
“Staying warm?” Allen offered and lifted his head to look at Kanda. They where close, very close. They’re eyes met and kanda froze. They breathed together, remaining close together, eyes locked. They leaned in close, Kanda putting a hand on Allen’s waist and hummed: but sat up when there was a knock on the door. “What!?”

“Allen~” Came a cool voice.  
Allen paled. “Tyki!?” He sat up quickly and clambered out of bed but kanda quickly grabbed his wrist.  
“What are you doing!?” He snapped.  
“Tyki won’t hurt us, he needs me...” Allen said softly then pulled his hand away from kanda and opened the door.  
Tyki stood there in his tux and top hat, a devilish grin on his face. “Allen.” He gave him a little bow, then his eyes flicked to kanda and his grin fell. “Ah, yuu kanda.”  
Kanda narrowed his eyes, he’d gotten up and was in the process of tying up his hair. “Why are you here?” He growled.


	5. Chapter 5

Allen put a hand on tyki’s chest. “Stop it.”  
The Noah’s yellow eyes softened and turned to Allen again. “Neah.”  
Allen flinched and jerked his hand away from Tyki as tho the mans skin burned him, feeling Neah stir inside him. He whimpered and backed up a step, feeling comfort in Kanda’s handing resting on Allen’s shoulder.  
“Leave!” Kanda snapped angrily.  
Tyki lurched forward, yanking Allen close by the arm, who stumbled into tyki’s chest with a grunt,  
The gray man wrapped one arm tightly around Allen’s waist while the other cupped the back of Allen’s head.  
“Neah.” Tyki whispered desperately In his ear. “Come back to me...” 

Allen felt Neah crawl up his throat, his body burned like fire and he felt his legs give out as his skin turned gray. “Tyki.” He whimpered. He could hear Kanda’s voice, yelling something.  
Allen/Neah brought a hand up to cup tyki’s face. “My Tyki.” He leaned up close.  
Tyki let out a desperate groan and cupped the young exorcists cheek. “I’m here Neah.” He whispered then locked lips with the white haired boy.  
Kanda let out a screech and yanked Allen away, holding the limp boy close to his chest.  
Tyki narrowed his eyes and growled. “Give me Neah!” He demanded.  
Kanda held Allen closer. “Like Hell!!” Kanda yelled.  
Neah/Allen reached out a weak gloved hand to Tyki, tho his yellow eyes where fixed on kanda. “Kanda...”  
Kanda’s dark eyes flicked to Allen, only for a second, before turning back to Tyki, who’d stepped closer.  
“Back off.” Kanda snarled, He couldn’t activate mugan with Allen in his arms.  
He was starting to panic when he felt Allen’s body tense up and he screamed in pain as white feathers erupted from him akuma arm.  
Tyki’s eyes widened and he cursed. “He’s found him!”  
“What? Who?!” Kanda demanded.  
“Apocryphos!”  
Kanda had heard of Apocryphos, link had died from that monster, along with 2(?) others. “He’s hunting Allen?!” He picked up Allen bridle style. “We have to get him out of here!”  
***  
Allen whimpered in pain, going completely limping in Kanda’s arms. He could feel someone pulling layers onto him and picking him up again, two different voices swirled around him, tho he couldn’t make out the words. He panted harshly, his body in agonizing pain, his arm hurt the worst. He grimaced when the cold hit his bare face. All he could see was blinding white snow.  
After what felt like eternity, Allen was set down.  
“Shortstack?!” Came a voice in his ear.  
“K-Kanda...” Allen managed to choke out. “It’s hurts...” his body slumped down but kanda held him up. He heard the two voices again, as tho from far away.  
Allen winced again and groaned in pain. “I can feel him, k-kanda!” He said desperately. “He’s close....”  
He felt himself being picked up again, wrapped in warm arms.  
Eventually the pain became to much and Allen blacked out.  
***  
Allen woke with a start, he was laying on a bench in a compartment of a train. He looked around to see kanda asleep on the opposite bench, Tyki was no where to be seen. He sat up slowly and groaned, his body ached from the ‘attack.’  
Kanda opened his dark eyes and he sat up. “You’re awake...”  
Allen looked at kanda, “what...happened?”  
“Apocryphos was on your trail, you could barely talk let alone walk, Tyki managed to lure the bastard away while you and I got on a train.” Kanda got up and sat beside Allen, lifting his hair up to look at the boys forehead then his eyes. “Does that always happen? The feathers?”  
“Only when Apocryphos is near by..., but coupled with a Neah attack, it’s blinding....” he leaned into the coolness of Kanda’s hand, letting out a relived sigh. “Your hand is so cold.” He mumbled.  
Kanda shifted his hand to cup Allen’s cheek, which made Allen press his face into Kanda’s cold fingers, his eyes fluttering close.  
The older male watched him closely and reached up his other hand to place his cold fingers against Allen’s neck.  
Another sigh escaped Allen’s lips, warming up Kanda’s palm. “You’re burning up.” Kanda mumbled.  
Allen opened his eyes and looked at kanda out of the corner, not moving his head. “I probably need more sleep.....” he mumbled softly.  
Kanda pulled his now warm hands away from Allen. “Rest.” He said softly and got up, sitting back down on his side.  
Allen laid down and watched Tim climb on the wall. He lay awake for a while before passing out again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this stuff is just gonna get randomly updated?

When he woke again the compartment was dark except for a small lamp, Kanda was gone. Allen sat up and looked around, panicked at the lack of kanda. He stood and grimaced at the pain in his body. He opened the compartment door, coming face to face with kanda, who held two cups of tea. “There you are.” Allen sighed in relief and stepped back.  
Kanda just grunted and stepped inside, offering Allen a cup of tea before sitting down. “How are you feeling?” Kanda asked softly.  
“My body still hurts...but I’ll be ok.” Allen sighed and sipped his tea.  
Kanda nodded lightly and sipped his tea. “Do you still have a fever?” Kanda asked softly.  
Allen frowned and felt his forehead “I’m not sure...”  
Kanda moved over to his side and felt his forehead.”it’s still there, not as intense tho.” He cupped his cheek.  
Allen leaned into his touch lightly, letting out a tiny sigh.  
Kanda watched him and let out a tiny hum. “My hands still cold?”  
“No...they’re warm from the tea...” Allen turned his silver eyes to him.  
Kanda ran his thumb over Allen’s cheek lightly, watching the boys eyes flutter close, Allen grabbing Kanda’s wrist gently.  
Allen could feel Kandas heartbeat thru his hand and his soft breath on his face; he opened his eyes again and locked eyes with kanda, they where so close...  
Kanda leaned forward but he set his forehead on Allen’s, keeping his eyes locked with the other exorcist. “Allen....” he said softly.  
“Kanda..” Allen breathed, one hand on kandas chest. They sat there and breathed together, sitting in silence. Kanda caressed his cheek again and hummed lightly, tilting his head lightly and hooded his eyes. Allen closed his eyes and they gently locked lips. It was a quick embrace. Kanda pulled away after a heart beat and looked away, his cheeks pink. Allen’s own face was red and he looked down, a soft smile on his lips. Kanda lifted his head and opened his mouth to speak then jumped to his feet when the door burst open and tyki stumbled inside, quickly closing the door. He was bruised up and little bloody.  
“Are you alright, Neah?”  
Allen visibly flinched and kanda growled at Tyki, yanking Allen close to his side, worried the Noah might try to snatch the young exorcist again.  
Tyki narrowed his eyes behind his thick rimmed glasses. “Stay out of this, science experiment.” He snapped.  
Kanda immediately puffed up. “Excuse me!? Science experiment!?” He roared.  
“Kanda..” Allen hissed. “Do you wanna get kicked off the train?”  
Kanda narrowed his eyes at Allen then glared at Tyki again.  
Tyki stood and narrowed his eyes right back then looked at Allen. “I need to speak to you..alone..”  
“Fuck that!” Kanda snarled.  
Tyki ignored kanda and held out his hand to Allen.  
Allen hesitated. “You can’t steal me Tyki, HE won’t like it.”  
Tyki nodded “you have my word as a Noah that I won’t steal you away.”  
“Allen. You can’t.” Said Kanda softly, holding Allen close to his body.  
The young exorcist looked at kanda: “it’s alright, you know I can put up quite the fight.” He turned to tyki and took his hand.  
Tyki grinned and pulled Allen close to him. “Shall we?” He cooed in his ear then pulled him out and down the cars hallway. Tyki found an empty compartment and pulled Allen inside, holding the boy close to his chest. “Finally, alone.” He whispered and leaned his face close.  
Allen quickly put his akuma hand over tyki’s mouth, his cheeks pink. “Tyki, you wanted to talk....”  
Tyki gave him a look but moved Allen’s hand gently. “I do want to talk, just..let me...”  
“Kissing me isn’t talking.” Allen deadpanned, his eyebrow twitching.  
Tyki sighed and released Allen, tho he kept a hand on Allen’s side. “We can’t outrun Apocryphos forever...” he said softly. “Even with you, me, and the purple one, we can’t defeat him....”  
Allen frowned. “You don’t think I know that?” He mumbled. “What do you suggest....?”  
“Let me take you away, put you somewhere safe...” Tyki cupped Allen’s cheek gently. “I can protect you..”  
“I’m not leaving kanda.” Allen pulled away from tyki’s gentle touch. “He and I are a team, we always have been.”  
“But he can’t protect you, not like I can!” Tyki grabbed Allen’s hands and held them to his chest. “Let me take care of you. Let me take you somewhere that Apocryphos will never find you.”  
“Not without Kanda....” Allen said simply, trying to tug his hands away, by Tyki held them tight. “Neah...”  
Allen flinched and frowned then grunted lightly when Tyki backed him against the compartment door, pressing their bodies close together. “Neah, please.” Breathed Tyki in Allen’s ear. “Let me protect you, let me keep you safe.”  
Allen blushed and put his hands on tyki’s shoulders to try and push him off. “T-Tyki stop.....” he mumbled.  
Tyki pressed a kiss to Allen’s neck, making the boy shudder at the strange feeling. “Tyki...” he breathed. “Stop.....”  
Tyki pressed his body closer for only a moment before pulling away completely to look at Allen. “I’ll protect you, I promise.” He caressed his cheek gently. “Let’s get back to the other one...”  
Allen stood there, stunned.


	7. Chapter 7

Allen opened the door to his and kanda’s compartment, letting out a grunt as kanda yanked him in and slammed the door shut in tyki’s face.  
Kanda held Allen close to his chest and looked over him. “Did he hurt you?” He asked, cupping Allen’s cheek. “No, I’m fine.” He didn’t tell kanda about tyki’s kiss, not wanting to upset him.  
He blushed lightly when Kanda put his forehead on Allen’s and let out a revealed sigh. “I’m worried about him....he’s going to try and take you...”  
Allen hesitated then put his hand on kandas cheek. “He won’t take me till Neah is ready to take over completely.....”  
Kanda frowned “I won’t let that bastard take over..”  
Allen caressed his cheek with a thumb. “I don’t know how to stop it...”  
“We’ll find a way....” kanda said softly and hugged Allen tightly. “I’m not loosing another person I care about....”  
Allen blushed and buried his face into kandas shoulder.  
“We’ll figure this out.” Allen whispered.

“Are you two done being sappy?” Called Tyki outside the door.  
Kanda glared at the door and let go of Allen as Tyki walked in. The two death glared eachother. Allen put a hand on both men’s chest. “Calm down both of you.” He huffed softly.  
Tyki scoffed and sat down.  
Kanda sneered. “Can’t you just disappear?” He sat opposite of him, pulling Allen down beside him.  
Tyki adjusted his glasses. “No, I need to stay with him, with Apocryphos on his trail, you don’t stand a chance of defeating him.”  
“I defeated skin.” Kanda challenged.  
“Yes, but Apocryphos is living innocence. You can’t fight innocence with innocence.” Tyki stated.  
Kanda scoffed and crossed his arms. “And what do you suggest?” He demanded.  
“Let me take Allen somewhere safe, I can protect him on the arc.”  
“And let the Earl have him?! Fuck that!” Kanda snapped.  
“The Earl wouldn’t know, only Road.”  
Allen’s eyes widened a little. “You’d put me in one of Roads dream worlds....”  
Tyki looked at Allen and nodded. “It would be the safest place.”  
“You’d lock Allen up till Neah took over.” Kanda snarled. “I’m not letting that happen!”  
Tyki glared and opened his mouth to speak but froze when Allen gasped in pain and scrambled away from the door.  
Kanda hurried over to Allen as Tyki launched himself at the door. A shadow of a large man stood outside it.  
Timcanpy clung to Allen’s shoulder, patting his cheek to try and snap him out of the trance.  
Tyki slicked his hair back, his skin turning gray, butterflies appearing around him. “Break the window! Get out of here!” Tyki snapped at kanda.  
Kanda cursed and stood up, quickly bundling up Allen then himself.  
The shadow tried to open the door, when that failed he started to pound on the door. Kanda picked up Allen, who was completely out of it now. He kicked the window, trying to break it. After a few kicks, the window shattered. Kanda grabbed the yellow ball with wings and jumped from the car, he landed roughly and Allen landed in the snow roughly. Allen lay there a moment then slowly got up, watching the train rush by. “Tyki!” He yelled, knowing that the Noah couldn’t take on that monster alone.  
Kanda was suddenly at his side, hoisting him up. “Come on Allen, we have to go.” He said gruffly.  
Allen looked at kanda, tho it was almost impossible to see him in the dark night.  
He let Kanda drag him thru the thick snow that lined the tracks. “Where are we?” Allen asked, looking over the the dark landscape.  
Kanda looked around as well. “I don’t know...but we’ll freeze to death if we stay out here all night.” He grabbed Allen’s hand and they started to walk thru the frigid night


	8. Chapter 8

They walked for what felt like hours, eventually they had to stop, both exhausted from the walk and the cold. They found a patch of tall shrubs that they could crawl under, clearing the little bit of snow, giving them a cold bed of dead leaves.  
“Come here.” Said kanda softly, laying down and opening his arms.  
Allen laid next to Kanda, burying his face into kandas chest, shivering lightly.  
Kanda held Allen close to him and let out a warm sigh onto Allen’s head. “It’s gonna be ok, we’ll sleep till dawn and keep moving.” He said softly.  
Allen nodded shakily and pressed closer, desperate for warmth.  
Tim wiggled between them, radiating heat. 

Allen didn’t remember falling asleep, but he woke to kanda shaking him gently. “Get up beansprout.” He said softly. “We gotta go.”  
Allen whimpered and sat up, almost immediately starting to shiver again.  
He watched kanda crawl out of their little den before following him. He stood and held Tim tightly to his chest, before looking at kanda and laughing softly, gently pulling leaves from kandas ponytail.  
Kanda ruffled Allen’s hair to get rid of the leaves. “Let’s go” he said softly and started to walk.  
They walked thru the deep snow for hours before the train station came into view.  
At the sight of the train station, Allen got a burst of energy, his exhaustion disappearing for a moment before coming back.  
By the time they stumbled into town, they where both exhausted, slowly trudging to the nearest inn, neither of them thinking as they ordered one room, both crawling into bed, curling up in eachothers arms and falling asleep.  
***

Allen’s dreams where strange and strained.  
Kanda bloody and begging for Allen to run as a purple blur rushed towards them. Tyki standing in a wide and sunny field Of wheat, smiling at Allen lovingly. Lavi tied to a chair and whispering for Allen to run and hide. Mana...mana telling him to never stop walking. Cross putting a gentle hand on his head. LenaLee’s bright smile... Kanda’s gentle kisses on his neck.

Allen woke with a start and sat up quickly. It was dark again. Kanda grunted and sat up a little. “Shortstack?” He mumbled. “You good?”  
Allen took a deep breath. “Yah...I’m ok...” he said softly before laying back down, letting kanda wrap his arms back around Allen. “Is it...Apocryphos?” Kanda asked softly.  
“No...weird dream....” He blushed in the darkness, remembering the dream of kandas soft kisses.  
“Wanna talk about it?” He felt kandas cold fingers on the small of his bare back, making Allen shudder lightly.  
“N-no it’s ok....”  
kanda hummed lightly. “Alright...go back to sleep ok..?”  
He nodded lightly and wiggled down to push his face into kandas chest, he lay awake for a while, once he was sure that kanda was asleep, he gently pulled away and sat up to look out the window, he watched the moon, his mind wandering.  
“Allen.” Came a voice behind him. Allen whipped around and looked around the small room. “Allen.” Came the whisper again.  
“Who’s there?” Allen asked softly.  
“Allen. Wake up.”  
Allen got out of bed and lit a candle then looked around, raising the candle high, “Who’s there?” He asked again, then he saw him...crouched in the corner. “Allen....”  
It was...lavi...he looked terrible, thin and bloody. He stood slowly. “Allen...” He wheezed, desperately reaching out for the white haired exorcist. “Wake up.”  
Allen took a step back, his eyes wide. “Lavi...how....?”  
“Allen....Allen....ALLEN!” Lavi lunged at Allen, he grabbed Allen’s throat and tackled him onto the floor. “Wake up Allen!!” Lavi screamed, he looked just as terrified as Allen felt.  
Allen kicked Lavi off him and backed up. “Kanda!” He cried desperately, he turned but the bed was empty except for a lotus flower and Lotus petals.  
“Kanda!” He screamed again as Lavi clawed at Allen’s leg.  
“Wake up Allen! He’s here! He’s going to find you again! WAKE UP!” Lavi sobbed.  
Allen tried to kick Lavi off, terror climbing up his throat. “Stop Lavi!” He begged. “ I don't wanna hurt you!”  
“Allen please!” He sobbed. “Wake up! Wake up!!” He screamed.  
Allen’s eyes shot open to see kanda shaking him, “Allen!”  
Allen let out a sob and grabbed kanda. “K-kanda?” He whispered. “You’re not a flower,”  
Kanda gave him a confused look, helping the boy sit up.  
Allen looked around the dark room, he stood quickly and lit the candle, lifting it high to look around and into the dark corners. “where did lavi go?” He asked and looked at kanda, his silver eyes still wide.  
Kanda frowned and looked around with a worried expression. “Lavi?”  
Allen looked at kanda as the man stood up, putting a hand on the younger exorcist’s shoulder and put his forehead on Allen’s. “it was just a dream.” He whispered to Allen.  
Allen looked into Kanda’s eyes and let out a tiny shaky sigh. “Just a dream.” He whispered.  
Kanda placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I’ve got you.” He whispered then looked into Allen’s eyes and cupped his cheek gently, caressing his cheek with a thumb. “Allen.” He whispered then very very gently locked lips with Allen for a moment before pulling away. 

The young exorcist let out a tiny hum and closed his eyes then let kanda pull him into bed. “Let’s go back to sleep.” Kanda whispered to Allen, who was nuzzling into his chest.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next 2 chapters are dark! So warning!  
Mention of rape.

The two slowly dozed off together, only waking when Tyki threw tim campy at Allen’s head.  
Allen shot up and glared then gasped and got up.  
Tyki was extremely bruised, in his Noah form, his lip was busted and he had blood on his collar.  
“Tyki...you escaped Apocryphos.”  
“Barely.” Tyki sighed and walked over to touch Allen’s cheek then glanced at kanda, who was still asleep with an arm slung over Allen’s waist.  
Tyki hummed lightly and looked at Allen again.  
Allen wasn’t looking at Tyki, he was gently tucking hair behind Kanda’s ear, smiling softly.  
Tyki ran a hand thru the back of Allen’s hair gently then grabbed a fistful and pulled him head Back.  
The young exorcist winced and looked up at Tyki, he pulled the boys white hair to his chest, leaning his head close to Allen’s. “You’re awfully touchy with him now, Nea.”  
Allen blushed and frowned. “I’m not Neah....” He huffed. “And I can be as touchy as I want with kanda.”  
Tyki huffed and gripped his hair tighter. “Don’t be touchy with him, ‘allen.’” He sneered his name.  
He couldn’t help but roll his eyes, not really wanting to deal with tyki’s possessiveness.

“Fuck off.” Growled a voice and smacked tyki’s hand away then yanked Allen back down into bed. Kanda moved to hover his upper body over Allen protectively. “Get away from him.”  
Allen blushed lightly and looked at kanda.  
Tyki looked down at him with his cold yellow eyes. “Oh please.” He smirked. “You think you could honestly stop me?” 

Kanda glared at Tyki then sat up and started to pull up his hair. “I took down a Noah before.”  
Allen sat up as well and shook his head. “Enough.” 

Allen let out a sigh and stood, making Tyki take a few steps back. “I’m glad you’re ok tyki...but what do you want?”  
Tyki frowned lightly and grabbed Allen’s hands. “Nea. I can’t keep fighting Apocryphos, I know you want to get a better hold on Allen’s mind, but I can’t keep doing this!” Tyki said, looking into Allen’s eyes..  
Allen pulled his hands away quickly and frowned, jumping lightly as kanda put a hand on the small of Allen’s back, standing beside the younger exorcist.  
“No ones asking you to fight.” Kanda growled, Narrowing his eyes.  
“Stay out of this!” Snapped Tyki, death glaring Kanda. “This is between me and Nea!”  
Kanda got in front of Allen and right in tyki’s face. “Nea isn’t here! ALLEN is! Now back off!” Kanda yelled in his face.  
Tyki snarled and plunged his hand into Kanda’s chest. “Shut up!” He snarled in his face before removing his hand from kandas chest.  
Kanda took a step back but keep Allen behind him.  
“Now move!” Tyki snapped.  
Allen moved in front of kanda. “STOP IT TY-“ he stumbled and his legs collapsed, both men hurrying to catch him.  
“Allen!” Yelled kanda.  
“Nea!” Squeaked Tyki.  
Allen whimpered, pain slicing thru his body. He could hear the two men arguing over him before the whole world went black.

Nea opened his eyes and watched the two men, one with long purple hair, the other...”joyd!” Nea said happily.  
Tyki tensed up then shoved kanda roughly away before holding Nea close to his chest. “Nea..” he smiled and cupped his cheek.  
Nea sat up and looked around then at his hands. “I’m...i can move!” He stood up and looked at the other man, who looked devastated “Allen....no..” kanda whispered.

Nea tilted his head then grinned widely and giggled before turning to Tyki and latching onto him. “Make sure to bring me back when we’re done~” he cooed In Tyki’s ear. “Let’s hope this body isn’t a Virgin.”  
“NO!” Screamed kanda and launched himself at Allen but Tyki and Allen where gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out it’s DARK AS FUCK

Kanda stood there, tim campy floating beside him. “No...”kanda whispered. “NO!” He grabbed the water pitcher and threw it at the wall. He could feel tears in his eyes. He’d lost someone else he cared about.  
He stared at the floor and trembled lightly. “I don’t know what to do Alma....” he mumbled.

‘Don’t worry Yuu.’ Came Alma’s voice in the back of Kanda’s mind. Kanda could practically see Alma standing in front of him, young and innocent and full of bright smiles. “I know you’ll find him!” 

Kanda nodded lightly. “He told Tyki to bring him back...why tho?” He sat on the bed and sighed softly. He would wait for a few hours... Allen would come back. 

~~~

Kanda was pacing the room when Tyki brought back an unconscious allen, the small exorcist curled against the Noah’s chest, his neck was covered in red marks. 

Kanda hurried over, clearly panicked. “Allen!”

Tyki rolled his eyes and moved past kanda to set Allen on the bed. “Relax.”  
“Re..RELAX!? He’s been gone for hours! Who knows what you did to him!!” Kanda roared.  
Tyki smirked, looking to kanda. “They don’t call me the Noah of pleasure for nothing.” He quickly dodged Kanda’s punch. “I’ll be back for Nea later~” He vanished quickly thru a wall.  
Kanda immediately hurried over to Allen and sat on the bed, pulling Allen’s limp body onto his lap, holding the boy to his chest. “Come back to me, Allen.” Whispered kanda. “I need you..” He buried his nose in Allen’s cotton hair.

“Kanda…?” Came Allen’s soft voice. A shaky red hand grabbed onto Kanda’s hair weakly. “My Kanda?”  
Kanda held Allen tighter to his body.  
“I’m here bean sprout…” Kanda whispered.  
“My body hurts…” whimpered the younger boy.  
Kanda pressed a kiss to Allen’s forehead. “Im so sorry Allen…”  
Allen pressed his face into Kanda’s neck. Where Kanda could feel his tears. Kanda kissed the younger males palm gently. “Just close your eyes, you’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now…” he whispered to him.  
That’s when Allen’s sobs broke out, crying harshly into Kanda’s neck for what felt like hours.

Allen eventually fell back asleep in Kanda’s arms, the older male stayed awake tho, ready to protect the boy he cared about so deeply from anything that could harm him. 

~~~

Kanda was still awake when allen woke in the morning. Allen lifted his head to look at kanda, who looked exhausted. “Kanda.” He mumbled.  
The man flicked his icy eyes to Allen. “Good you’re awake.”  
Allen made to sit up, but a sharp pain came from his lower back and ribs and he let out a tiny cry of pain, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.  
“Don’t move, it’ll just cause more pain.” Kanda gently laid Allen down fully. “Sleeping will help….”

Allen gently pulled kanda down. “You need to sleep too...you look exhausted. Did you stay up all night?” 

The man nodded and undid his hair before laying beside Allen and very gently pulling the boy close, he ran a thumb over one of the nasty marks Tyki had left, before pressing a soft kiss to the mark, making Allen blush and shudder. “I hate the marks he left on you.” He mumbled.

Allen frowned and played with part of Kanda’s hair. “Believe me, I’m not happy either….it was like I was watching myself from out of my body….” he mumbled and pressed his face into Kanda’s neck. “I...Tyki makes me feel disgusting…he used me.” he started to cry again. 

Kanda held Allen close and nuzzled into the top of his hair. “Don’t worry Shortstack, I’m going to protect you, no one gets to beat you up except me.” 

This made Allen smile and laugh softly. “Only you?”  
“Only me.” Kanda looked down at Allen and ran his fingers through his hair gently. The two met lips lightly. Allen preferred Kanda’s soft kisses over tyki’s aggressive ones. Kanda was gentle and sweet when it came to this kind of stuff.  
They separated and Kanda gently tucked hair behind Allen’s ear. “I can’t loose you.” Kanda whispered. “You’re my reason for living.” 

This made Allen blush and he quickly hid his cheeks. “Jeez kanda, d-don’t say stuff like that..m-makes it sound like you’re in love with me…” he mumbled shyly.  
Kanda rolled his eyes. “Go to sleep.” 

Allen nuzzled into Kanda, after a moment he blushed. “Kanda, what are we?” When he got no answer he lifted his head and sighed, Kanda was out cold.  
Allen sighed softly and sat up, winsing a little at the pain, but he watched the snow flutter down. It was snowing again….  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw if you guys have any questions/ opinions/ feedback, please give it to me.
> 
> MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS!!!

He looked back at kanda, gently putting braids in his long hair, humming softly. He stayed awake for hours, watching over Kanda, studying Kanda’s face as tho he’d never see it again, tracing the shape of his jaw, the bridge of his nose. He truly was beautiful. 

“Jeez Allen, you’d think you’re in love with how you watch him.” Came a voice.  
Allen shot his head up and paled at the sight of road.  
She grinned at him and tip toed over to the bed and sat on edge. “Do you love him?” She asked. 

Allen didn’t answer, just stared at her, ready to wake Kanda.  
“Don’t wake him.” Road said softly. “I’m here to help you.”  
“Help me? Like how tyki’s been ‘helping’?” He spat, not trusting road AT ALL.  
Road frowned. “Tyki...joyd is making him sick…”  
“Joyd? Nea called him that…” Allen mumbled.  
“Joyd is the Noah that’s inhabiting Tyki, Joyd is the Noah of pleasure. The earl likes to...use Joyd’s vessel..”  
Allen frowned. “The earl has been...raping Tyki?”  
Road nodded. “And Tyki has no power to stop it either…Tyki also has a habit of...getting violent, like breaking bones violent…Joyd causes it…”  
Allen covered his mouth.”god. Poor Tyki….but...why does Nea have control?”

Road frowned and looked away. “I don’t know how to tell you….”  
Allen frowned and watched road. “Please tell me road…”  
she wiggled and crossed her legs on the bed. “Did you know someone named mana?”  
Allen tensed up. “Yah ...mana...raised me...Hes nea’s brother right?”  
She nodded lightly then sighed. “Nea and mana used to be one person ...the earl ...the earl split himself to keep himself safe ...when they both realized who they where...mana ATE Nea…” 

“Like...absorbed him?”  
“No, like ate him, his body.” Road sighed. “But not before Nea murdered all the Noah except me…”  
“Mana...ate him?” Allen looked mortified then he frowned. “But why would you help me? Don’t you want mana to..eat me?” 

“No.” She said simply. “I care about you allen, I don’t want you to get hurt.”  
Allen looked extremely confused. “You care about...me?”  
She nodded lightly. “I don’t want you or Nea dead. I love the earl, but I don’t want my friends dead.”

Allen blinked in shock. “How could I believe you…?” 

“You don’t have to. But know that I’ll help you when I can. Tyki wants to keep Nea safe so he’ll protect you too...although, I’m sure you don’t want to be around him.” 

The boy shook his head. “I don’t want Tyki near me at all….” He mumbled, touching Kanda’s arm for comfort. 

“I can’t keep Tyki away when Nea calls for him...but any other time I can.” 

“Thank you road…” he said softly.  
She smiled and got up then looked at kanda and narrowed her eyes then turned away and disappeared into a door. 

Allen sat there, extremely confused. Why would road care about HIM? He shook his head and looked at kanda, who was still fast asleep.  
He let the older male sleep a little longer before waking him. “Kanda, come on, we need to get moving.” He said softly.

Kanda groaned softly and shifted. “No.” He mumbled.  
“Kanda, we have to go, or Apocryphos is going to find me…” he mumbled.

The man opened an eye and sighed. “fine, but I’m sleeping on the train…” he sat up and put up his hair.


	12. Chapter 12

Allen got out of bed and let out a cry of pain.  
Kanda was at his side in seconds. “Are you alright?”  
Allen trembled a little. “J-just my thighs and back...” He mumbled. “I’ll be ok.” He smiled at kanda.  
Kanda frowned and kissed his head then pulled away to pack up the little stuff they had and bundled up. 

Allen bundled up slowly, still in pain, feeling tim campy land on his head. He turned to kanda and smiled. “Ready?” He asked softly.  
The older exorcist nodded and gently dragged out Allen.  
They walked together silently thru the crunchy snow. 

“Kanda.” Came a voice from behind kanda, making the man whip around. “Alma?” He mumbled.

Allen turned and put a hand on Kanda’s arm. “Kanda?” 

Kanda stared at the empty street. “Yes lotus?” He said absentmindedly.

This made Allen turn bright red and he squeaked shyly. “L-lotus?”  
Kanda turned back around. “Just walk.” He growled, his cheeks pink, pushing Allen gently.  
Allen walked with Kanda to the train station, once there, Kanda went to get their tickets while Allen sat down.  
Poor Allen’s legs hurt terribly and he leaned back, letting out a pained sigh.  
“Nea could heal your pain.” Came roads soft voice in his ear. “You just have to relinquish part of your Consciousness.”  
“No, and let Nea out? He’ll call Tyki….”  
“That’s true.” She sighed.  
“Shortstack.” Came Kanda’s voice. “Let go. Trains leaving!”  
Allen winced and got up, hurrying after kanda. 

Kanda sat down in their compartment, he laid down and kicked off his boots. “Try and rest.” Kanda grumbled.

Allen just grunted softly, staring out the window.  
Kanda watched him and frowned. “Lotus.” He said then growled and threw his boot at Allen, who jumped and looked at him. “What?”  
“Don’t slip into Noah state, I can’t stop Nea.”  
Allen frowned and nodded. “I’m trying...but I can feel him….”  
kanda sighed then sat up and moved over to Allen and sat beside him. “I’ll pull you out, I’ll keep you safe the best I can.” He said softly. “As long as you don’t do anything fucking stupid.”  
Allen laughed softly and leaned against kanda lightly. “I’m all about doing stupid stuff..”  
“Yah I know, stop it.” Kanda growled  
Allen hesitated then hugged Kanda’s arm gently. “Kanda?” He mumbled.  
“Yes?”  
“What are we?” Allen whispered, his cheeks going red.  
Kanda looked at him,confused. “What?”  
Allen blushed more. “What are we? Just friends?” 

Kanda still looked confused. “Did you want to be more?”  
Allen nodded lightly.  
Kanda shrugged. “Ok.”  
Allen lifted his head. “Really? You want to be more?”  
He shrugged again. “Sure.”  
Allen blushed brightly and nuzzled into his arm.  
Kanda kissed his head gently. 

The young exorcist lifted his head and smiled brightly at kanda, who watched him from the side of his eye, a soft smile on his face. Allen hesitated then kissed his cheek.  
Kanda grinned and turned to capture the boys lips, making Allen giggle with excitement.

“God you two are nauseating.”  
They both turned quickly to see Road.  
Kanda stood quickly and reached for mugan.  
“Relax, I’m not even here.” She sighed and waved her hand lazily.  
Kanda narrowed his eyes.  
Allen tugged him down. “What do you want, Road?”  
Road looked at Allen. “The earl is tracking you now, and you’ve just missed Apocryphos, he was in the town you just left.” She sighed.  
Allen’s jaw dropped. “He was?”  
“That’s not important at the moment.” Road said. “Allen, you have to keep Nea away from the earl!” 

“That was the plan from the beginning.” Kanda huffed. “I’m not letting anyone near him.”  
Allen leaned against kanda and frowned when road stood, placing a gentle kiss on Allen’s forehead. “Be safe, Allen.” She whispered to him. “Don’t let Nea slip away from you.” She pulled away and glanced at Kanda. “Take care of him~.” She cooed then vanished in a puff of smoke.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a long one! 
> 
> I HAVE SO MUCH STILL

Kanda sat there, heavily confused. “Is she...helping you?”  
Allen nodded lightly. “She doesn’t want to see me hurt….”  
Kanda still looked confused but shrugged and kissed Allen’s head. “Let’s sleep.” He said softly then moved to the other side and laid down.  
“Um….kanda…?” Allen blushed.  
“What lotus?” He looked at him.  
The nickname made Allen blush more. “Can….I lay with you….?” He asked shyly.  
Kanda blinked then clicked his tongue. “Fine, get over here.” He grumbled. “Hurry up before I change my mind.”  
Allen got up and laid on Kanda’s chest and played with part of Kanda’s hair.  
Kanda grumbled but ran his fingers thru Allen’s snowy locks. “Shortstack.” He said gruffly.  
The white haired exorcist lifted his head to look at kanda but was immediately pulled down into a kiss.  
Kanda kept his fingers buried in Allen’s hair, the other hand holding his waist close.  
Allen used one arm to hold himself up, the other on Kanda’s cheek, he let out a tiny gasp when Kanda’s grip on his hair tightened.  
The older male licked Allen’s bottom lip, a small growl escaping his throat.  
The sound made Allen shiver and shift his hips lightly, gasping against his lips again when kanda tightened his grip again, opening his mouth a little.  
Kanda took the opportunity to slide his tongue into Allen’s mouth. They tangled tongues for a moment before Allen had to pull away, having forgotten that breathing was a thing.  
The two where connected by a string of spit as they both panted lightly. Kanda wiped the string away with his thumb from Allen’s bottom lip. “Now go the fuck to sleep.”  
Allen blinked in shock. “Wait, what?”  
“Go. To. Sleep.” He shifted and closed his eyes.  
Allen blinked a few times then laid down on kandas chest again.

~~~ 

Allen hadn’t even realized that he had fallen asleep. The loud whistle of the train waking him.  
Kanda groaned and lifted his head. “Get off.” He grumbled.  
Allen sat up slowly and yawned softly.  
The two got up slowly, grabbing their small bags and walking off the train, Tim campy attached to Allen’s head.  
They walked together thru the busy town.  
Kanda suddenly grabbed Allen’s waist and glanced behind Him. “Stay calm.” He mumbled.  
That made Allen panic almost immediately. “What? Why?”  
“Finders, they’re following us.” Kanda mumbled and led Allen into an allyway.  
Allen grimaced suddenly and he lurched forward. “Not now…” he mumbled.  
Kanda turned. “Allen? What’s going on?”  
Allen leaned against the wall and slid down. “N-Nea…” He gasped. “Get the finders away, b-before I….” He cried out in pain again and lurched forward onto the cobblestone. He felt his mind slipping as Nea clawed his way out. 

Nea lifted his head and grinned, his yellow eyes flicking up to the purple haired man again. “Oh it’s you!” He grinned and stood up.  
The man cursed softly and stepped back. “Please don’t run off…..” he mumbled.  
Nea tilted his head then grinned and immediately walked away, knowing the exorcist would follow.  
He walked out into the street and looked around. “There’s a Noah in town…” he mumbled then laughed to himself. “Other than me.” He looked at the man again. “Who are you again?”  
“Kanda, I’m Allen’s….boyfriend..” he grimaced at the word.  
Nea snorted softly. “Oh lovely, so you’re gonna hate this~” he walked off. “I need to find mana~.” He skipped away.  
“Nononono!” Kanda grabbed Nea. “We need to leave. There’s finders here, which means exorcists will be here soon.”  
Nea looked at Kanda’s hand then growled. “I suggest you let me go.” He yanked his arm away and kept walking. “Maaanaaa!” He sang to the sky. “I’m here!” 

Kanda snarled and shoved the white fluff ball into an allyway. “What the hell are you doing!?” Kanda demanded.

“None of your business!” Nea snapped then turned when a door appeared. “Oh! One of roads doors!” He said happily. “I hope it’s joyd!” 

Instead of Tyki or road, out stepped a man. He was talk, ruggedly handsome and dark looking. “Mana!” Nea said happily. “It’s me! Nea!”  
The mans eyes widened and he stumbled forward. “Nea!” He scooped the boy into his arms. 

Kanda stood there in shock. Was this the earl? It didn’t matter, he had to protect Allen. He drew mugan and glared. “Allen get away from him!” He called. 

Nea turned his head to glare at Kanda. “I’d stay out of this.” He called before turning back to mana. “Oh mana~.”  
The man tilted his head then buried his face into Nea’s shoulder. “I finally found you. My Nea, we can finally be one again.”  
Nea pet his brothers hair and hugged him tightly. “I’m here. I’m here.” He cooed  
Mana hugged his brother tighter. “Why do I want to be so close to you? Why? You betrayed me….” 

Nea giggled. “Because you and I belong together~” he cooed in mana’s ear.  
Mana shuddered and buried his nose in Nea’s hair. “My Nea, my other half.” 

Kanda let out a snarl. “Why is everyone after my boyfriend!?” He demanded.

Nea turned and grinned at kanda “oh silly exorcist, this is my brother~.” 

Kanda grimaced. “That doesn’t make this any better….”  
Nea smirked then kissed mana’s Cheek. “Oh mana, it’s going to be so painful when I kill you.” He cooed then grunted when mana shoved him away. Nea let out a mad cackle and grinned. “What’s wrong mana~?” He teased.  
“Get away from me!” The earl yelled and moved away.  
Nea stepped toward the earl, who quickly turned and sprinted to the door.

Once the earl was gone, Nea whipped around to kanda and grinned, he stepped forward but was stopped by a sharp edge to his throat.  
“Get out, give me Allen.” Kanda snarled, holding the blade steadily.  
Nea smirked. “You won’t hurt this body.”  
“Wanna test that?” Kanda narrowed his eyes.  
Nea laughed coldly. “How about I make you an offer? Hm?”  
The other male said nothing.  
“I’ll let you ravage this body, if you’ll let me run around for an hour~.”  
“No.” Kanda said quickly without hesitation. “I’m not gonna do that to Allen.”  
Nea narrowed his eyes a little. “Stop being all noble and sappy!”  
“Give. Me. My. Bean sprout.” He snarled.  
Nea rolled his eyes. “Fine! But only because he’s fighting with me!” He snarled, he went and sat down by the wall, leaning back, he closed his eyes, opening them again a moment later to be that brilliant purple color.  
“Kanda…?” He mumbled.  
“Shortstack..” kanda wrapped Allen up in his arms quickly. “Are you alright? What happened?”  
“I-I don’t know…I just...lost control.” Allen mumbled, Burying his face into Kanda’s shoulder. He felt ill and dizzy.  
“I’ve got you ok?” Kanda whispered and kissed his head then helped him up. “let’s get you something to eat.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m uploading 2 chapters because I’m bored 
> 
> Mild spicy time!

They walked slowly to an inn, where they ordered Allen as much food as they could. Kanda watching as Allen devoured it all. Kanda wiped a bit of food from Allen’s cheek then kissed his temple. “We have to figure out a way to pull you out of Noah state….” he said softly.

Allen frowned lightly as he fed Tim campy. “I can always hear you when you call my name….” he mumbled. “So just call to me.”  
Kanda nodded and kissed his head gently before getting up. “Let’s get our room.” He offered his hand to Allen.  
The white exorcist took his hand and stood up, giving it a little squeeze before letting go.

Once they were in their room, Allen pulled off his layers and wrinkled his nose “I need a bath….”

Kanda sighed softly “me too….” he glanced at Allen. “I’m going first. You take forever.”  
Allen narrowed his eyes. “No, I’m going first, you soak for hours.”  
Kanda growled and they both rushed for the bathroom. 

They ended up agreeing to bathe together after an argument that lasted an hour  
Allen watched the tub full, his cheeks red. He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to this….  
Kanda’s own face was red as he took down his long hair then started to stripe.  
Allen turned around and started to stripe too, sitting there in his underwear with his boyfriend. He looked over at kanda and gently traced part of the spreading tattoo with a gentle fingertip.  
Kanda looked at him and hummed lightly. “It’s my life force.”  
Allen’s eyes widened. “Really?”  
Kanda nodded then ran his fingers Down one of Allen’s scars then leaned over and kissed his shoulder before getting up and pulling his underwear down.  
Allen turned beet red and looked away.  
“Hurry up and get in.” Kanda growled and covered his eyes.  
Allen hesitated before stripping the rest of the way and getting in the tub with kanda, he leaned back against Kanda’s chest and sighed softly.  
Kanda put his arms on the sides of the tub and grunted before kissing the back of Allen’s head gently.  
Allen blushed lightly and hummed, closing his eyes as kanda laid a gentle kiss on the slope of his pale neck.  
“Kanda.” He breathed, more to himself.  
“What?” The older male said in his ear.  
Allen blushed and opened his eyes. “Oh...nothing, just mumbling your name.”  
Kanda just grunted then kissed Allen’s neck again, watching the boy from the corner of his eye as allen blushed and shuddered shyly. He slowly traced the scar on Allen’s back then over to his chest, Making Allen blush.  
Allen turned his head to look at kanda, who watched him closely the leaned forward and captured his lips.  
They kissed for a little bit before pulling apart, panting lightly.  
Kanda has his arms wrapped around Allen’s waist, Allen had his fingers in Kanda’s hair.  
“Kanda.” He whispered as kanda moved to place kisses on Allen’s neck.  
He wiggled a little as kanda ran his hands down Allen’s sides. “That tickles.” He smiled.  
Kanda raised an eye then squeezed Allen’s hips, making him squeak and try to move away but kanda holding him close with a laugh then tickled Allen.  
Allen laughed and wiggled, grabbing onto his boyfriend.  
Kanda stopped and chuckled in his ear. “Didn’t know you were ticklish~.” He teased.  
Allen blushed then turned to face kanda and tried to tickle him.  
Kanda just raised an eyebrow and grinned then attacked him with tickles again.  
Allen laughed loudly and grabbed onto kanda, wiggling around.  
Kanda stopped and grinned down at Allen.  
Allen panted and giggles softly then blushed, Kanda was between Allen’s legs and holding him up and close to his body.  
Kanda blushed too, realizing their position. He immediately dropped Allen into the water and sat back.  
Allen went under the water and shot up, spluttering and coughing. “What the hell kanda?” He glared.  
Kanda raised an eyebrow. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
Allen rolled his eyes and put his foot on Kanda’s chest. “You’re an ass.” He teased.  
Kanda grabbed Allen’s ankle and yanked Allen close.  
Allen let out a squeak and blushed as Kanda pulled him into his lap, making Allen straddle him.  
Kanda hugged his waist and looked up at him.  
Allen blushed more and ran his fingers through Kanda’s long hair. “You really are beautiful, kanda.” He whispered.  
“And you’re short.” Kanda deadpanned, making Allen narrow his eyes and yank Kanda’s hair.  
Kanda grunted and narrowed his eyes. “Don’t do that.” He said lowly.  
Allen smirked. “Or what?”  
“Or I’ll throw you out of this tub.” He growled.  
The white haired exorcist rolled his eyes but smiled. “Ok ok.”  
Kanda squeezed Allen’s waist gently and kissed his chest.  
Allen blushed and watched him, running his fingers through Kanda’s hair slowly.  
The older exorcist looked up at Allen and hummed, pulling him down gently to kiss him.  
Allen cupped Kanda’s cheek gently as they kissed, gasping when kanda squeezed his thigh, allowing kanda to slip his tongue into Allen’s mouth.  
Allen blushed brighter as they tangled tongues, their chests pressed together.  
Kanda pulled away and pressed kisses to Allen’s neck, making Allen pant softly and shudder under the mans touch.  
The purple haired man pressed kisses over the fading marks of Tyki’s mouth. “I hate these.” Kanda breathed against Allen’s skin.  
“Then change them…” Allen huffed then blushed. “W-wait I-“  
Kanda smirked then attacked his skin and bit his neck, sucking lightly on the skin.  
Allen gasped and grabbed onto kanda, trembling lightly. He panted breathy moans in Kanda’s ear as the other male bit him in various different spots before licking up his neck one last time, pulling away to look at Allen.  
The boy was red in the face, his chest rising and falling quickly, his neck and parts of his chest and shoulders bore Kanda’s marks. In that moment, Allen looked almost...beautiful to kanda, covered in marks that he had made, not tyki, not anyone, just kanda.  
Allen cupped his boyfriends cheek and kissed him again, running a hand down Kanda’s chest.  
Kanda almost greedily kissed him back, grabbing a fistful of hair at the back of Allen’s head.  
Allen separated from Kanda’s mouth to attach himself to the skin of Kanda’s neck and sucked lightly, he wanted to leave at least one mark on Kanda’s skin, to Mark Kanda as his.  
Kanda let out a low groan when Allen bit him, keeping a tight hold on Allen’s snowy hair. “Lotus~.” He breathed softly.  
“Kanda…” Allen breathed. “Yuu~.”  
Kanda stiffened and his grip tightened on Allen’s hair.  
Allen lifted his head to look at Kanda. “do you not want me to call you that?” Allen asked softly, lightly kissing his boyfriends jaw.  
“It’s fine, just not used to it.” Kanda grumbled and lifted Allen’s head via his hair to kiss him.  
They kissed for a second before Kanda pulled him away. “We should probably get out, the waters cold.” He let go of Allen’s hair, Who blinked then blushed. “I forgot we where in the tub…” Allen whispered then got out of Kanda’s lap


	15. Chapter 15

Kanda stood and got out, wrapping up his waist then helped Allen out and handed him a towel.  
Allen followed kanda back to their small room and sat with him. Kanda brushed his hair out with his fingers and grunted.  
Allen watched him as he put on his briefs. “You never have tangles.”  
Kanda glanced at him. “Yah? So?”  
“It’s just weird for someone with long hair..”  
Kanda rolled his eyes and pulled on pants then laid in bed with a sigh. “I need mead...or whisky…” he grumbled.  
Allen spluttered. “Since when do you drink?”  
Kanda looked at him. “Since always, believe it or not, I’m a raging alcoholic.” He sat up and started to get fully dressed. “Speaking of which, I’m going to the bar.”  
Allen continued to splutter. “We need sleep, kanda, not alcohol!”  
Kanda glared and pulled his hair up. “Or, I can go get shitfaced, which is what I’m planning on doing.” 

Allen stood up. “Kanda!” He huffed. “We need to rest! We have to keep moving in the morning!”  
“I’m aware, doesn’t mean I can’t do it while I’m plastered, now are you coming with me or not?”  
Allen sighed and started to get dressed. “I’ll come…” 

**  
About 10 minutes later, the two sat with their drinks, Allen with something simple. And kanda with something intense and strong smelling.  
The younger male sat there and sipped his drink, nearly choking on it when kanda chugged his and Immediately ordered another.  
“Jesus kanda…” he mumbled.  
Kanda raised an eyebrow. “That bastard has nothing to do with this.”  
Allen sighed and leaned back, watching kanda down the other drink, still sipping his own. 

3 drinks later, Kanda was drunk, watching his drink with an extremely grumpy expression that Allen found adorable. The white hair exorcist had cut kanda off and had gotten him a glass of water.  
“Drink.” Allen told him.  
Kanda glared at Allen. “Piss off you dumb pasty cunt.”  
Allen raised an eyebrow. “Rude.” He mumbled. “The church would be so upset.”  
Kanda threw his arms dramatically into the air. “Fuck the church!” He declared to the havens. “Have you seen the pope!? He looks like a toad! And don’t even get me STARTED on Jesus! What a prick! The church are a bunch of stuck up assholes! Have you met me? I’m LIVING PROOF THAT THE CHURCH SUCKS!”  
Allen laughed softly. “Calm Down, Kanda.”  
Kanda narrowed his eyes and pointed at Allen. “Shut your pretty mouth.”  
“I thought I was a dumb pasty cunt, am I Pretty now?” Allen grinned around his cup.  
Kanda blinked then huffed and crossed his arms. “I haven’t decided yet.”  
Allen Downed the rest of his drink, moving onto his third drink of the evening, starting to feel a bit typsy.  
“Lotus~.”  
“Yes kanda?” Allen looked at him.  
“Let me have another drink.” Kanda grumped.  
Allen shook his head. “Not till you drink that water.”  
“No.” He deadpanned. “More alcohol.”  
“No, kanda, drink your water.” Allen sipped his new drink.  
Kanda glared at the water again, as tho glaring at it would scare the horrible liquid away.  
“Staring at it won’t make it vanish.” Allen deadpanned. “Just drink it.”  
After a lot of coxing, Allen got kanda to drink water.  
Kanda wiggled over to Allen and hugged his waist. “Lotus~.” He whispered and kissed his neck lightly.  
Allen blushed lightly and looked at him. “Yes?”  
“My beautifully stupid white lotus.” He whispered.  
Allen rolled his eyes and smiled. “You’re drunk.”  
“Oh absolutely~.” He chuckled and started to kiss on Allen’s neck gently.  
Allen blushed more and shuddered. “Kanda...we should probably head back to the room.”  
Kanda hummed but continued to kiss Allen’s neck.  
“Yuu.” Allen whispered to him, making kanda pause. “Let’s go back to the room.” Allen stood and offered his hands, which kanda took, following the white exorcist back to their room. 

**

Allen closed the door behind them after they returned, only to be pressed against the wood by his boyfriend, who attacked his neck with kisses. “K-kanda.” Allen grunted as kanda gripped his hips roughly. 

Kanda just grunted and pressed their bodies tightly together, trying to undo Allen’s pants.  
This made Allen immediately panic. “Yuu! Stop!” Allen pushed into his shoulders.  
The older male blinked and pulled away a little, moving his hands, shocked by Allen’s outburst.

Allen trembled a little and panted softly, his eyes wide. “I-I…” He hugged himself, the thought of Tyki touching him making his body shake in fear.  
Kanda cupped Allen’s cheek and kissed his head. “Hey. I’m sorry, I got to excited, I’m not gonna touch you that way ok?” Kanda’s voice was soft and loving in his ear. The man wrapped Allen up in his arms and held the trembling boy to his chest, running his fingers soothingly thru Allen’s snowy hair.  
Allen stood there and trembled in his boyfriends arms, clinging tightly to the fabric of Kanda’s coat.  
“I-I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He mumbled into Kanda’s chest.  
Kanda shushed him gently. “It’s ok, I shouldn’t have taken it that far. I’m sorry.” Kanda mumbled into his hair then picked Allen up gently and carried him to bed, gently setting him down on the mattress.  
“Let’s get you changed, lotus.” Kanda said soothingly and gently took off Allen’s coat.  
Allen still trembled but let Kanda help undress him into his pajamas, he trusted kanda not to attack him or force him.  
Kanda changed and laid down with the boy, holding him close. “I won’t touch you like that anymore unless you give me permission, ok?”  
Allen nodded. “Thank you, yuu.” He mumbled and nuzzled into his chest, feeling Timcanpy rest between them.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to get dark again!  
Thanks to the 4 people that read this shit!

Allen woke in the morning and grunted lightly, he had a mild headache, he pressed himself closer to kanda and grunted again.  
Kanda tightened his grip on Allen and groaned lightly in response, already awake and heavily hungover.  
“Hangovers sucks.” Allen mumbled.  
Kanda chuckled lightly and held Allen closer. “Yes they do.” He whispered.  
Allen hummed happily, feeling content in that moment, despite his headache. Wrapped safely in his lovers arms, warm, happy, as if they didn’t have a care in the world.

“You two are so lazy.”

The voice of Tykk Mikk made Allen Immediately panic. He shot up and moved as far away from the Noah as he could, backing himself against the head bored, his body shaking.

Kanda sprung out of bed and snarled. “Get the fuck away from him!!” He yelled.

Tyki raised an eyebrow, he was in his Noah form, his wavy hair slicked back. “Relax.” He scoffed. “I could feel Nea calling me.” 

Kanda turned to look at Allen and frowned deeply. “Lotus?” 

Allen’s eyes were yellow and he stared off into space, his skin almost a pale gray. “Your flower isn’t home right now.” He mumbled then whipped his head to face Tyki. “Where have you been joyd?” Nea climbed out of bed, moving past kanda to run a hand over tyki’s chest. 

Tyki stooped down to kiss Nea’s cheek. “I’m sorry, my lord.”  
“Don’t touch him!” Kanda roared and summoned mugan. “I’m not letting you take him!!” 

Nea looked at kanda and grinned. “Shut up, Yuu Kanda.” He whispered. “Do you truly love Allen walker? Or is he just the nearest thing you have to /him/?” The Noah snapped his fingers and Alma Karma appeared before kanda. 

Kanda froze and stared at Alma for a moment. “Alma?” He mumbled. 

“There you are Yuu!” Alma said happily and held out his arms with a bright smile. “I’ve been looking for you!” He stepped forward then frowned. “Do you still love me, Yuu? Or am I just a passing thought?” 

Kanda shook his head. “This isn’t Alma!” He roared but tears were gathering in his eyes and his voice shook. “Alma Karma died in my arms!” 

Nea grinned then made Alma disappear. “I could bring him back to life if you want, give me Allen walker and I’ll bring alma’s soul back.” 

Kanda’s eyes got huge. “That’s impossible…”

“Not for the millennium earl it’s not~.” Nea cooed then turned to Tyki and whispered in his ear then grinned widely. “I’ve always had a fancy for him~.” 

Tyki raised an eyebrow then his form seemed to shift into none other then Mariam Cross. 

Nea bit his lip. “Excellent~.” He looked at kanda. “I’ll be back in a few hours to hear your decision~.” 

Kanda panicked. “NO! You can’t!” He rushed forward but Nea and Tyki where already gone. 

*****

Hours later. Tyki returned with Allen’s limp body in his arms. “Do you have your answer?” Tyki asked kanda, who death glared him from the corner. 

“Allen walker is mine, I won’t give him up. Come for him again, and I WILL kill you.” Kanda snarled.

Tyki rolled his eyes and laid Allen on the bed. “You should be glad, I only broke 4 ribs this time instead of 6 like last time.” 

Kanda shot up. “You broke his ribs!?” He roared.

“Relax. Nea healed all his broken ribs.” Tyki glared. “You also suck at leaving marks.” He turned away. “I’ll be back when Nea calls me.” He walked out of the room.

Kanda rushed over to Allen and picked up his beloved and cradled him close. “Lotus…” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” He kissed his forehead.

Allen woke when it was dark, fire light flickering over the ceiling, His body burned with pain, the images of cross over him flashing behind his eyes. “Kanda.” He sobbed. 

There was the sound of footsteps and kanda was beside him. “Allen.” He said softly. “I’m here.” He scooped Allen into his arms and held him close. “I’ve got you.” 

Allen clung to kanda and sobbed hysterically into his shoulder, gripping part of Kanda’s hair in his fist.  
The boy cried for more than an hour, sobbing nonsense here and there.

Once Allen had mostly calmed down. Kanda looked at him, Allen still holding onto his hair. “Are you in pain at all? Is there anything I can do to help…?” 

Allen just whimpered and pressed closer to kanda. “Cross...he….he…m-my master…”

“That wasn’t cross, lotus, it’s was Tyki.” He said softly, running his fingers thru Allen’s hair gently. “Cross would never do that to you.” 

Allen shook his head and flinched when he felt tim canpy nuzzle agaisnt his face and whimpered softly when Tim patted his face gently with his little toes. 

“Tim won’t hurt you, Lotus.” Kanda whispered gently in his ear. “Tim loves you.” He kissed his forehead gently.  
Allen nodded lightly and brought Kanda’s hair to his lips. “You have such beautiful hair….” Allen whispered.

Kanda pet his hair gently and held him. Kanda wasn’t much of a singer, but he hummed softly in Allen’s ear till the poor boy fell asleep. 

Kanda kept watch over Allen, thoughts running thru his head. Would the Black Order keep Allen safe? Or would they kill him? He needed a way to control Nea, to pull Allen back from Noah state. He knew that calling his name helped a little, but he needed something stronger.


	17. Chapter 17

Allen looked up at the old decreped mansion as the wheat brushed his hands and legs.  
“Nea!” Came a child’s voice behind.  
Allen turned and frowned at the young boy then his eyes widened. “Mana?”  
The little boy giggled, his long curly black hair swaying in the wind, he couldn’t have been more then 9 or 10 years old. “Come on!” He laughed and held out his hand.  
Allen stumbled forward and walked over to young mana and hesitated then took the boys small hand.  
Mana beamed up at him and started walking towards the old house. “Mama’s been looking for you, Nea!” 

Allen blinked. “She has? I hope I didn’t worry her…” 

“You shouldn’t run off like that.” Mana looked up at him and smiled. “But don’t worry, I’ve got your back!” 

Allen smiled and laughed. “Thanks mana, I can always count on you!”  
Mana beamed at him and grabbed onto the old doorknob, twisting it and stepping inside.  
But something made Allen stop. It was bitch black inside, except for young Mana. “Nea? What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t want to….” Allen mumbled. “I’m scared….”  
“Don’t be frightened.” Said a voice behind him.  
Allen spun around to see older mana, face done up as a clown. “Mana?” He glanced over his shoulder to look at young mana, but he was gone. “Allen, don’t stop i walking, ok?”

Allen’s eyes watered a little. “Mana, I miss you so much…”  
Mana gave him a kind smile and held his arms out. “I miss you too.”  
Allen hesitated then stepped forward and hugged his first father, tears slipping down his cheek. “I don’t know what to do, mana. I’m scared….” 

Mana wrapped his arms around Allen gently and pet his hair. “I know. But you’re strong, you’re a Walker after all, my son is strong.”  
This made Allen really start to really cry, burying his face into Mana’s shoulder and sobbing.  
“Keep fighting, keep walking, ok?”  
Allen nodded and sniffled.  
“It’s time to wake up.” Mana whispered.  
Allen shook his head. “I don’t want to leave you again, can’t I stay here with you?”  
Mana pulled away and wiped Allen’s eyes with his thumbs, like when Allen was a child. “I know, but unfortunately that’s not how the world is at the moment. You’re not done fighting quite yet.” He smiled then turned and started to walk away.  
“Mana! Wait!” Allen called and held out his hand. “Wait for me!” He tried to follow but he couldn’t move. “Don’t leave me behind!” He cried out.

Allen shot up with a sob. “Mana!” He yelled.  
Kanda was at his side in a moment. “Allen? What’s wrong?” He touched his cheek, but Allen flinched and trembled, making kanda frown. “It’s just me, lotus.” He whispered. “It’s Yuu.”  
“Yuu.” He mumbled and hesitated then touched his face. “Yuu….” tears gathered in his violet eyes. “You won’t hurt me right?” His voice quivered.  
“Never, I would never hurt you.” Kanda whispered, gently cupping his cheek.  
Allen closed his eyes and leaned into his touch gently, letting the tears spill from his eyes, his body hurt terribly. “I’m scared kanda…” he whispered. “I can’t do this anymore...I can’t keep fighting Nea….”  
Kanda frowned and cupped his face. “Don’t say that, please don’t say that. You have to keep fighting him!” 

Allen let out a sob. “I can’t! I can’t do this anymore! I just want to be with my mana! I wanna die!”  
“Hey!” Snapped kanda. “If I can’t die neither can you!”  
Allen flinched and looked at kanda. “But…”  
“No buts! I care about you allen! Fuck! I love you! I can’t loose another person I love!” He snapped angrily.

Allen blushed brightly and his breath hitched a little. “You...love me?” He whispered.  
Kanda’s eyebrow twitched. “That’s what I said, I’m not repeating it.”  
Allen grabbed part of Kanda’s hair, the silky hair becoming a comfort to him. “Say it again…” he breathed. “Please…”  
Kanda seemed to deflate a little and his cold eyes softened. “I love you, Allen walker.” He whispered to him. “You can’t die. You’re all I have..” 

Allen let out a sob and he hugged kanda tightly. “I love you too.” He mumbled. “I’ll keep fighting, for you.”  
Kanda ran his fingers through his hair and kissed his temple. “Thank you.” 

Allen buried his face into Kanda’s neck and sniffled. “I hate Nea. I hate Tyki. I hate the Noah!” He growled. “I hate them all!”  
Kanda frowned and just listened to Allen yell.  
After a bit, Allen calmed down and just sniffled.  
“You done?” Kanda asked.  
Allen nodded and looked at him. “Say it again….”  
Kanda sighed. “Lotus…”  
“Please..?”  
“I love you, lotus.”  
Allen blushed lightly and sat up to look at kanda, cupping his cheek and gently kissed him.  
They kissed gently and lovingly for a while before pulling away.  
Allen ran his fingers through Kanda’s hair. “I love you.” He whispered. “Don’t ever leave me.”  
“Never.” Kanda whispered back. “Just as long as you never leave me.”  
“Never.” Allen promised. “We’ll be together forever.” He smiled.  
Kanda chuckled softly. “Sure.”  
Allen caressed Kanda’s cheek gently and smiled.

Kanda hugged Allen’s waist gently. “Lotus….I think...we need to go back to the order…” 

Allen’s smile fell and he looked shocked. “What? We can’t go back to the order!”  
“But they can keep you safe!” Kanda insisted. “I can’t fight Nea without risking hurting you….”  
Allen shook his head. “We can’t go back to the order! Lvellie will never take us back!”  
“But at least you’d be safe!” Kanda cupped his face. “They could contain Nea!”  
“No they’ll keep me locked away or they’ll kill me!”  
“I might be able to make a deal...I just want to keep you safe, they could keep Tyki away….”  
This made Allen pause. “They could keep him away….?”  
Kanda nodded and caressed his cheek. “I still have my golem, I can talk to the order.”  
Allen nodded lightly and sighed.  
Kanda gently moved Allen off his lap and gently kissed him then pulled away and dug thru his bag.  
Allen watched kanda pull out his golem and poke it awake.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The entire fan fic is now complete! I just have to post it!!  
BE PREPARED FOR PAIN

The golem blinked then took flight.  
“Kanda!? It’s kanda!” Came Komui’s voice.  
Kanda rolled his eyes and motioned for Allen to stay away. “Yah it’s me.” He said in his normal cold voice.

“Where have you been?” Komui demanded.  
“None of your business.” Kanda growled. “I know where Allen walker is.”  
“WHAT!? You found him!? Is that why you left?”  
Kanda nodded. “I found him, I’ve got him with me. But I have a condition if you want him.”  
“I’ll see what I can do….”  
Kanda crosses his arms. “Allen walker gets to come back to the order as an exorcist. You can observe him all you want. But he’s to be kept safe and out of a cage. I want him in a place where I can keep an eye on him.” 

There was a pause then the sound of writing. “I’ll see what I can do, can you show me proof that you have Allen?”  
Kanda turned and motioned Allen to come over.  
Allen grimaced and pointed to his legs.  
Kanda clucked his tongue and grabbed the golem and faced it at Allen. “Say hi Shortstack!”  
Allen waved lightly.  
“Allen! Are you ok?” Komui asked.  
“For the most part.” Allen put on a smile, but kanda could tell that it was fake.  
Kanda turned the golem back to him. “I’m turning off the golem, I’ll be back later tonight for your answer.”  
“Kanda wai-“ 

Kanda grabbed his golem and shut it off, stuffing the little ball into his pocket then he turned to Allen. “We gotta keep moving, lotus.” He walked over to him and helped him stand, when Allen cried out in pain, Kanda scooped him up. “Shit…” 

Allen’s eyes watered and he looked up at kanda. “It’s fine. I’ll get used to the pain.” He stood up and his legs trembled. “I’ve had worse in battle.”  
Kanda clicked his tongue softly and helped Allen bundle up, it was still cold outside, the snow falling gently.

***  
They got to the train station, it was a slow process with Allen’s harsh limp, but they eventually got there. Kanda helped Allen onto the train and found a compartment, but kanda froze at the little road doll on one of the benches.  
“Road?” Allen asked.  
The doll waved and stood up.  
Allen sat down and let the doll climb up in his lap, making him flinch. “I heard what Tyki did, I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him...I can’t fight Nea’s orders.” She said, the doll slumping sadly.  
Kanda sat on the opposite bench and glared at the doll.  
Road turned to look at kanda and held onto her ribbon. “Stay away from my ribbon!”  
Kanda narrowed his eyes. “You’re lucky I don’t throw you out the damn window.”  
She sat in Allen’s lap. “I’m just here to help, I’ve kept Tyki away! He’s desperate to have Nea back, he wants to lock Allen away till Nea takes control.” 

Allen frowned and looked at kanda, putting a hand on roads yarn hair.  
Kanda shook his head and sighed. “We’re going back to the order to keep Tyki away completely.” 

Road tilted her head. “Do you think the order can keep Allen safe?”  
Kanda nodded. “The order wants Allen back anyway, I’m making them a deal.”  
“Do you think the director will allow it? He doesn’t seem very nice.” She leaned forward.  
Allen frowned and leaned back. “He’s not…” he grimaced, remembering what Lveille did to Lenalee.

Road looked at Allen. “I could offer you something else.” She said. “A dream world.”  
Allen frowned and shook his head. “Tyki wanted that...I don’t want to be locked up….”  
Road stood on his lap and put a nub hand on his head.

Allen wasn’t sitting on the train anymore. He stood in the wheat field again, Nea sitting in the large dead tree in the middle of the field. “There you are Allen. Did road bring you?” 

Allen glared at Nea and clenched his fists but he nodded. “What is this place…?” 

Nea climb down from the tree and walked over to Allen, standing infront of him. He was taller then him, his hair black like Mana’s, he had the same kind smile.  
“This is my childhood. This house, this field, that tree. I grew up here. Me and Mana.” He looked around with a fond expression. “It’s where you’ll be when I take over.” 

Allen shook his head. “I’m not gonna let you take over! Kanda won’t let it happen!”  
Nea gave him a soft smile and put a hand on Allen’s head, making the boy flinch and move away. “It’s going to happen, Allen.” He said softly. “And I know just how it’s going to happen. I know who I have to bring back to make it all happen.” He smiled softly. 

Allen paled a little and names ran thru his head. Cross, Apocryphos, Mana, link, Suman, Tup.  
“No, none of those people, most of who, aren’t dead.” Nea smiled with a small chuckle.  
Allen frowned. “Aren’t dead?” He whispered, which ones? He knew how each died, except Apocryphos…allen didn’t even know where he was.

“I infact, want to keep that monster away from us.” Nea smiled and stretched.  
“Can you-“  
“Read your mind? technically yes, you and I share a mind.”  
Allen frowned and stepped back, looking at the house, he could practically hear the two young brothers giggling from inside the home.  
“It used to be beautiful.” Nea said, looking at the house as well. “I want to find it again, if mother is still there….” he frowned then shook his head. “Tho she wasn’t really our mother. Just like mana wasn’t your father.” 

Allen frowned. “Mana was my dad, maybe not by blood, but he was still my father!” 

Nea chuckled softly. “Just like Cross was your father.” 

Allen flinched at the mention of his master and hugged himself.  
Nea’s kind grin turned twisted. “Did I traumatize you; Allen walker?” He whispered and leaned close. “I could make it worse.” He snapped his fingers and Tyki appeared infront of Allen, he wore his black dress pants and a loose white shirt, hair slicked back.  
Allen scrambled away and his body started to tremble.

Tyki just smiled lovingly, the same way kanda smiled at him, his eyes full of teasing laughter.  
This confused Allen and he glanced at Nea but Nea just watched Tyki.  
Allen turned back to Tyki. “He’s not real.” Allen mumbled.  
“No, he’s not. But I like to look at him. Joyd always did pick beautiful vessels, but Tyki mikk is my favorite, a pretty face hiding a sadistic twisted man. I love it.” He grinned. “I like them a little twisted~. It’s why I like cross~.” 

Allen stared at Tyki. Who stepped close, making Allen step away.  
Nea however stepped forward to meet Tyki and began to slow dance with him. “Don’t worry Allen, he won’t touch you unless I tell him too, both in here and out there.” Nea smiled at Tyki, not looking at Allen. “Now then~ I’m done Road, you can pull him out now.” 

Allen was suddenly back on the train, he blinked then looked around.  
“What was the point of poking him?” Kanda huffed.  
“Poke me? Kanda, I was gone for like an hour!” Allen said and looked at Road.  
“Nope, I poked your forehead, you where in your own head.” Road said cheerfully. 

Allen frowned then froze when he heard a knock on the compartment door and glanced at Kanda.  
Kanda stood slowly and grabbed mugan’s hilt, narrowing his eyes.  
“It’s not Apocryphos.” Allen said softly.  
“No, i'd rather not be him.” Came the familiar voice of none other than Howard Link. “Now please open up Allen, I’ve been looking for you for a while.”  
Kanda frowned and looked at Allen, who nodded. He opened the door with an almost violently grumpy expression. “Hurry up.” He snapped then sat across from Allen.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the best way I described kanda in this whole thing was ‘violently grumpy’

Link walked in, shutting the door behind him and sitting beside Allen. He glanced at Tim canpy, who was curled up in the luggage rack before turning to Allen. “You’ve lead me on quite the wild goose chase.” He said Matter-of-factly then smiled lightly. “It’s good to find you.” He put a hand on Allen’s shoulder. 

Allen’s eyes got huge. “Don’t touch me!” He snapped then moved away, his body trembling, eyes tearing up.

Kanda glared at link and got up. “Move away from him.” He snarled. “NOW!” He barked when link didn’t move.  
Link moved away and kanda took his place, touching Allen’s arm with a gentleness that link had never seen from the super soldier. 

Kanda leaned in close to Allen’s ear. “It’s ok lotus, link won’t hurt you, no one will hurt you.” He whispered to him so that only Allen could hear. Grabbing his lovers hand, he tucked part of his hair into Allen’s hand, letting Allen calm himself. 

Once Allen had calmed down, Kanda moved back to his seat. “Touch him again and I’ll stab you.” Kanda snarled at Link.

Link frowned and looked at Allen. “What happened, Allen?”  
Allen shook his head lightly. “Doesn’t matter.” He mumbled. “Why were you following me? How are you alive?”

“To find you, of course.” Link leaned back. “The director saved me and asked me to bring you back.”

Allen shook his head and sighed. “We were going back anyway…”  
Link blinked in shock. “You were?”  
Kanda nodded. “We need a safe place for Allen. He keeps getting attacked. I’m making a deal with the order to let us return as exorcists.” 

Link frowned. “I don’t know if they’ll accept it….”  
Kanda raised an eyebrow then pulled out his golem. “Let’s find out, shall we?” 

He tapped his Golem awake and it flew up. “Kanda’s back!” Came kamui’s voice.  
“Have you decided?” Kanda asked.

“I..I talked to lvellie, he agreed to your terms if we get to study Allen!”  
Kanda looked at Allen. “What do you say?”  
Allen nodded lightly and glanced at link.  
Kanda nodded. “We’ll be back then, but if Allen is taken from me at all, I won’t hesitate to massacre everyone.” He grinned.  
“Oh god, ok…” kamui mumbled.  
“See you later.” Kanda grabbed his golem and hummed, shutting it off. He then looked at Allen and nodded lightly. “Ready to head home?” He asked.  
Allen nodded and smiled. “It’ll be nice to see everyone again.” 

***********

A few days later, the three men arrived back at the orders headquarters.  
Outside waited the director lvellie, kamui, and about a dozen exorcists ready to fight.  
Allen couldn’t help but smile and wave happily at the sight of some of his friends.  
Poor Miranda let out a sob and waved back. “Welcome home Allen! Kanda!”  
Kanda cracked a small smile and looked at Allen, his cold eyes twinkling.  
Allen in that moment, despite everything that had happened, was full of hope and happiness. He was home. 

But that joyful dream was quickly shattered when the director snapped his fingers and yellow tape bound both Allen and kanda.  
Allen grunted as he hit the ground and wiggled when he was dragged inside.  
Kanda was furious and writhed in his bonds, they had to taps his mouth to keep his screaming Quiet.

They were both thrown to the floor of lvellie’s office. Kanda death glared the director, if looks could kill….  
The bonds vanished and kanda was to his feet first. “What the hell!?” He demanded. “We had a deal!!” 

“And I’m keeping that deal, you and walker will go back to your normal lives, minus missions on Allen’s part. But I have my own conditions.” 

Kanda crossed his arms and glared. “What?” 

“The science department wants to do studies.”  
“Fine,”  
“I want link with walker at all times.”  
“Fine.”  
“You and Allen are to be kept apart for a week.”  
Kanda snarled. “Absolutely not!” He snapped. “One of my terms was that Allen stay beside me!” 

“How would your friends feel if they found out what you were doing while you were away?” 

Allen frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

“I know you two are in….a relationship..”  
Kanda’s cold physique broke a little. “That’s none of Your business.” 

“Oh it is, homosexuality isn’t allowed in the order.” He stood. “I could very very easily send you away, Yuu Kanda, and keep Allen locked up, but I’m being generous, I’m letting you both still be here. One week without each other.” 

“Fine.” Said Allen before kanda could blow up. “But we get one day before hand to see all our friends again, together.”  
“Fine.” Lvellie sighed. “Link will show you both to your rooms.”  
Kanda grabbed Allen’s hand and yanked him out, furious. 

Allen stumbled a little and followed kanda down the empty hallways. “Yuu, wait!” Allen snapped and stopped in his tracks, making kanda stop.  
Allen looked around and pulled him into a dark nook and cupped his cheek. “Calm down. It’s only a week.”

Kanda shook his head and cupped Allen’s face gently. “It’s not that….what if you start to have a Noah attack….?” He asked softly. “Nea could take over and I’m the only one who can pull you out.”  
“I’ll get tim to come find you, or I’ll tell link….”

Kanda shook his head and kissed Allen gently.  
They kissed for a moment before Allen pulled back and caressed Kanda’s cheek. “Say it.” He whispered.

Kanda rolled his eyes and pecked Allen’s lips. “I love you, lotus,”  
Allen smiled lovingly. “I love you too, Yuu.” He whispered. “Now let’s go, before link gets suspicious.” He pulled kanda out of the nook and led him down the hallway to link.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPICY TIME  
Wholesome spicy time  
Awkward spicy time   
Spicy time

Where have you two been?” Link demanded, looking pissy.  
Kanda shrugged. “Didn’t want to see you so I walked really slow.” Kanda deadpanned.  
Allen nudged Kanda’s side gently. “Show is our rooms.” Allen smiled at Link.  
Link glared at Kanda and led the men to their rooms, Allen’s room, which he shared with Link, was 9 doors down from Kanda’s.  
Lenalee poked her head out of her room and grinned. “Allen!” She said gleefully and ran over to hug Allen, but Kanda got in front of him, making Lenalee stumble to a stop and blink.  
“I wouldn’t touch him.” Kanda mumbled. “I’ll explain later.” 

Allen moved to the side and smiled. “Hey Lenalee!”  
Lenalee blinked then smiled brightly at Allen. “It’s wonderful to see you again! Everyone is so excited for you to be back!”  
Allen blushed lightly and scratched the back of his head. “Really? I didn’t think I’d be missed that much.”  
Lenalee laughed softly. “Dinners about to start! Come on!”  
Allen smiled and looked at Kanda, who smiled softly, his hope returning. 

That night, Kanda hugged Allen goodbye for the week and watched Allen walk to his room.  
Allen changed and crawled into bed, tho the bed felt empty without Kanda there, it was cold too…He buried his nose into the pillow and frowned, listening to Links soft breathing as he slept.  
Allen slowly got out of bed and snuck out of his room, counting nine doors down and opening the door. “Yuu?” He whispered.  
“Lotus?” Came Kanda’s voice.  
Allen slipped inside and walked over to kanda, his arms outstretched in the darkness, jumping a little when he felt Kanda’s hand take his and he let Kanda help him onto the bed. “What are you doing here?” Came Kanda’s soft voice.  
“Couldn’t sleep…” Allen mumbled, “my beds to empty...and cold…”  
Kanda chuckled in the dark and cupped Allen’s cheek.  
Allen let out a tiny gasp when kanda kissed his lips softly. “I guess we both got used to sleeping next to each other.” Kanda mumbled,  
Allen wiggled his way into Kanda’s lap, straddling his waist and burying his face into Kanda’s neck. “I love you, Yuu Kanda.” He said softly. “Once this all blows over...once Nea is gone...would you spend your life with me?” He blushed brightly, tho no one could see it.

Kanda was blushing just as brightly. “I would gladly spend the rest of my life with you, Allen. We don’t have to stay with the order, we can leave and live somewhere far away.”  
Allen smiled and nuzzled Kanda’s neck. “That sounds amazing.” He whispered and lifted his head and kissed Kanda’s face, letting Kanda guide their lips together. 

(Spicy time~)  
They kissed deeply, Allen letting Kanda’s tongue invade his mouth. They tangled tongues and Allen let a tiny noise from his throat escape. This made kanda groan in longing and moved to attack Allen’s neck with sloppy kisses.  
Allen panted softly and shifted his hips. “Don’t leave any marks on my neck, ok? No one can know.” He whispered to him, running his fingers thru Kanda’s silky hair.  
Kanda growled in response and moved to attack Allen’s shoulders, leaving bites and marks that made Allen’s breath quicken and his stomach burn with excitement.  
Kanda slipped his hands up the back of Allen’s shirt but froze when he felt Allen tense up. He lifted his head and pressed a kiss to Allen’s jaw.  
“Sorry, got excited again….”  
Allen took a deep shaky breath. “It’s ok. Keep going.”  
Kanda frowned. “Lotus, you don’t have to.”  
“I know, but...I want to do this, for you, for us.” He whispered. “But if I panic….”  
“I’ll stop, I promise.” Kanda whispered then pushed Allen’s shirt up. “Can I take this off?”  
Allen nodded and helped Kanda get his shirt off, shyly tugging on kandas own shirt. “Your turn.”  
Kanda chuckled softly and took his shirt off, tossing it gently. “You’ve been naked in a bath with me, and You're being shy now?” He teased.  
“Hush.” Allen mumbled shyly then gasped softly when Kanda licked up his chest quickly, earning a chuckle from Kanda.  
“Jerk.” Allen mumbled and pulled on Kanda’s hair, making him grunt.  
“Oh? you wanna play dirty?” Kanda growled and squeezed Allen’s inner thigh, making him let out a soft gasp.  
Allen couldn’t help but giggle and kissed Kanda again. Kissing him deeply and slowly with a small giggle here and there as he let Kanda’s hands roam his torso, Kanda’s gentle hands tracing each scar.  
Eventually his hands reached Allen’s waist pant and he pulled away from the kiss. “Can I take these off?” He asked softly.  
Allen blushed brightly and nodded, moving off Kanda’s lap to let Kanda slowly pull off his pajama pants.  
Kanda gently ran his hands over Allen’s legs pressing kisses here and there, the Ones on his inner thigh making him blush brightly and shift his hips.  
“Your turn.” Allen mumbled and shyly helped Kanda out of his pants. 

Kanda gently laid Allen down, moving over him, resting between Allen’s legs. “You alright, lotus?” He whispered to him.  
Allen’s body trembled lightly, but not out of fear. He could feel Kanda’s ‘excitement’ pressed against him. 

“I’m good.” He squeaked.  
Kanda laughed lowly in his ear and pressed a kiss to Allen’s cheek. “This is new to me too.”  
“Wait, really?” Allen sounded shocked.  
Kanda caressed Allen’s cheek. “Who would I have slept with?”  
“I-I don’t know...Lavi or something?” He mumbled and looked away.

Kanda couldn’t help but snort loudly. “Lavi? Bookman? I’ve thought about it but no.” He kissed his neck gently. “Just as new to this as you.” 

Allen blushed more and ran his fingers down Kanda’s muscular chest gently. “You’re beautiful.” He whispered.  
Kanda’s body shuddered under his touch. “You think so?” He whispered against his neck. 

“You’re more beautiful than angels, or lotus flowers.” 

Kanda chuckled. “I beg to differ. I think you’re the most beautiful lotus flower.”  
Allen giggled and traced Kanda’s spine gently with his fingertips.  
Kanda pulled away from his neck and moved down to kiss down his chest, Making Allen twitch and bite his knuckle.  
He eventually stopped at Allen’s briefs. “Can I take these off?” He whispered.  
Allen’s breath hitched shyly. “Go ahead.” He mumbled.  
Kanda very slowly and gently pulled off Allen’s underwear, running a hand over Allen’s bare hips.  
“Y-your turn.” Allen said softly.  
Kanda chuckled and took his briefs off and tossed them off the bed and he pulled Allen into his lap, making Allen straddle him.  
Allen clung to Kanda, his own ‘excitement’ pressed against Kanda’s stomach. “I’m...nervous…” Allen mumbled.  
Kanda kissed his jaw. “I am too, but I think I know what to do.” He kissed his shoulder gently. “But it’s gonna be uncomfortable at first..”  
Allen nodded slightly then jumped a little when kanda tapped a finger to his mouth. “I need you to get this wet.”  
Allen blushed brightly. “What? Why?” He mumbled softly  
“Just...trust me….”  
Allen blinked then took Kanda’s finger into his mouth and sucked on it shyly.  
A moment later, Kanda pulled his finger out. “This is gonna be weird.” He whispered. “Hold tight lotus.” 

“What are you-?” He gasped and his body tensed up when Kanda slid a finger into him. “Relax,we have to stretch you out or its gonna hurt.” Kanda whispered in his ear,  
Allen forced his body to relax and pushed his face into Kanda’s neck, body trembling.  
Kanda thrusted his finger slowly, adding a second after a moment, Allen pressing tightly to Kanda, his hips trembling.  
“You’re doing great.” Kanda whispered in his ear and ran his free hand thru Allen’s hair.  
Allen just nodded and grunted when Kanda added a third finger.  
Kanda pulled his fingers out and grunted. “What can we use…..? Oh!” He patted Allen’s butt. “Up for a second.”  
“What are you getting?” Allen asked softly.  
“Something to help it go in better...ugh this stuff feels weird….”  
Allen blinked in the darkness and jumped when Kanda’s greasy hand touched him, “ew, what is that?”  
“Lamp oil.” He chuckled. “Come here.” He patted his lap.  
Allen climbed into his lap and blushed.  
Kanda kissed his chest gently. “Are you ready?” He asked softly.  
Allen nodded lightly and lifted himself up a little. “But first, say it.”  
“I love you, Allen Walker,” He whispered and pressed Allen’s hips down slowly till the tip was pressed against his entrance.  
Allen shuddered and blushed brightly. “Again,” he mumbled.  
“I love you.” Kanda whispered again and gently pressed Allen down a little more, pushing the tip in. “Relax. Lotus.” He whispered softly.  
Allen nodded and relaxed his body by force, letting Kanda slowly push into him.  
Once kanda was fully in, they were both panting heavily, Allen’s entire body trembled with adrenaline and Nerves. “Y-Yuu.” He panted, pale chest heaving.  
“Allen.” Kanda breathed. “When you’re ready. Start moving.”  
Allen nodded and used Kanda’s shoulders as leverage to slowly start moving, picking up speed and a Rhythm as he got comfortable.  
Kanda held Allen’s hips roughly, his breaths ragged as he pressed his face into Allen’s neck.

Allen picked up speed and gasped loudly when kanda hit a spot and he blushed brightly.  
Kanda looked at him and moved his hips to hit the spot again.  
Allen jerked his hips and blushed brightly. “Y-Yuu,...”  
Kanda grinned and covered Allen’s mouth with a hand and jerked his hips up to continually hit that spot, Allen’s lavender eyes rolled back and he drooled. “Keep quiet, lotus.” He grunted and moved his hand to grab his hips again.

Allen whimpered and let out breathy ragged moans, drool dripping down his heaving chest.  
Kanda attacked his chest with restrained aggressive kisses, biting his chest here and there, thrusting hard up into Allen.  
Allen clawed at Kanda’s back, his Akuma hands nails cutting Kanda’s back open a little. 

Allen rolled his head to the side and he panted harder. “Yuu~ I think I’m getting close~.” He moaned softly then gasped when Kanda grabbed ahold of his member and jerked him hard, getting more aggressive with his thrusts.

Allen had to cover his mouth to stop his loud moans from escaping, his body trembling hard as he came in Kanda’s hand.  
Kanda thrust a few more times before he released.  
(Spicy time is OVER) 

Kanda slowly pulled out of Allen, making Allen shudder softly. They sat there together, panting heavily In each other’s arms, feeling Kanda moved his hand to put it near his mouth, then kanda started to laugh softly.  
Allen blinked and looked at him. “What?” He let out a squeak as Kanda flopped him onto the bed and kanda hugged him close. “Fuck I love you.” He whispered.  
Allen smiled and hugged him back “I love you too.”  
Kanda grinned. “Wanna know something gross? You taste great.” He kissed his cheek.

Allen wrinkled his nose then blushed brightly in realization. “You ate it!?”  
“Shhhh.” Kanda laughed softly. “I had to get rid of it somehow.”  
Allen blushed and clung to Kanda. “I’m all sweaty now.” He mumbled and ran a hand over Kanda’s arm gently.

“How about a bath?” Kanda whispered. “We’ll sneak to the bath house.”


	21. Chapter 21

Allen smiled. “Let’s go then.” Kanda got off Allen, helping the boy sit up then pulling him into a deep kiss before getting up and starting to get dressed in the dark.  
Allen placed his feet on the ground and gulped then stood up. “Yuu…”  
“What?”  
“I don’t hurt ...I can stand.”  
“Good, means I’m better than Tyki.” Kanda sneered then helped Allen get dressed.  
“Anyone is better than Tyki in the being nice department.” Allen grumbled to himself.  
Kanda peaked his head out of his door and Allen couldn’t help but giggle.  
Kanda opened the door more and looked at him, his hair was, for once, a tangled mess.  
“Your hair.” Allen giggled.  
Kanda grinned. “Your hair isn’t much better, lotus.” 

Allen blushed and smiled. Kanda winked and grabbed his hand and led Allen silently down the hall toward the bathhouse.  
The bathhouse was steamy and completely empty.  
Allen started to strip, folding his clothes. “Jesus Kanda…”  
Kanda had his back to Allen, his back was horribly scratched up. The older exorcist turned to glance over his shoulder. “Is it that bad? I knew you scratched me but that bad?”  
“That’s from me?” Allen whispered, blushing.  
“You should look at your chest and thighs.” Kanda teased and walked into one of the baths.  
Allen looked down and blushed brightly, his chest and thighs were covered in dark red spots and bite marks. He blushed more and hurried after Kanda, Sitting in the water next to him.  
Kanda looked at Allen out of the corner of his eye and grunted softly.  
Allen grunted back and leaned his head on Kanda’s shoulder, Intertwining their fingers in the hot water.  
“I love you.” Allen whispered.  
Kanda smiled. “I love you too.” He whispered back and pulled Allen gently into his lap, making Allen face him. “You’re beautiful.” Kanda whispered.  
Allen smiled and started to untangle Kanda’s hair gently. “So are you.” He whispered back and kissed his temple.  
Kanda rested his head on Allen’s chest, listening to Allen’s steady heart, hugging His lover’s waist lovingly. 

Allen finished unknotting Kanda’s hair and smoothed it gently. “I don’t want to be apart for an entire week...it’s hard being away from you for a few hours…” he sighed.  
Kanda hugged his waist tighter. “I know...but we have too, Tim knows to come find me if you slip into Noah state.”  
Allen sighed softly again. “I really hope I don’t slip into Noah state ...who knows what Nea would do….”  
“Don’t think about it too much…” Kanda said softly, pressing a kiss to Allen’s neck.  
Allen hummed softly at the feeling and closed his eyes as Kanda lovingly kissed his neck.

They eventually parted ways for the night, Kanda giving him a long kiss Goodnight before Allen snuck back into his room.

Allen lay alone in his bed, Tim curled beside him like a cat. He sighed softly in the dark and curled up. It was strange, not having Kanda curled around him or the warmth that he produced pressed against Allen’s back. 

He buried his face into his pillow and sighed softly, letting his body slowly drift him off to sleep.

***  
For the first three days, Allen did just fine without Kanda, he was lonely without his boyfriend, but he was ok. No Noah attacks. No panic attacks. Link had warned the people around Allen not to touch him.  
But on the fourth day, things started to take a turn for the worse.  
One of the newer exorcists grabbed Allen’s arm in excitement over something, making Allen push him away roughly, backing away, his entire body shaking violently.  
“Find Kanda.” Link snapped quickly at Allen’s panicked expression.  
The exorcist sprinted away.  
“Allen.” Link said softly, reaching for Allen.  
Allen shook his head hard. “DON'T TOUCH ME!” He screamed and backed himself against the wall and curled up, covering his face. 

Kanda burst in a moment later and slammed the door behind him. He ran over to Allen and cursed. “Who touched him!?” He demanded angrily, kneeling down beside allen. “No one can touch him…” he mumbled and touched Allen’s arm gently.  
Allen flinched harshly and lashed out at Kanda, who caught Allen’s wrist. “It’s me.” He whispered to him. “It’s me, Lotus.” He sat down and pulled Allen slowly into his lap, not caring about the multiple people who watched as Kanda pulled his ponytail down, letting Allen bury his face into Kanda’s neck. Allen’s fists full of Kanda’s hair.  
Kanda kept his arms tightly around Allen, death glaring everyone. “I want everyone out!” He snapped angrily.  
Link ushered everyone out but stayed inside.  
“I said everyone.” Kanda snapped at him.  
“Not till you explain.” Link walked over and sat in front of them.  
Kanda held Allen closer. “And what part am I supposed to be explaining?” He growled.  
“Why Allen’s like this? He never used to be like this...what happened in the weeks you two where gone ...?”  
Kanda let out a sigh and glanced at Allen, who still trembled. “Tyki Mikk happened ...he...forced himself on Allen...more then once, in different forms….he hurt Allen pretty badly…no one but me can touch him…” 

Link’s eyes widened and he looked at Allen. “My god….” 

Kanda nodded and sighed. “Nea isn’t helping….he keeps calling Tyki and Tyki will do things to Allen’s body….he always has nasty marks and bruises, Tyki has broken ribs and who knows what else….” He mumbled and ran his fingers through Allen’s hair gently. 

Link watched Allen and frowned. “It’s understandable that he’s like this…” 

A tiny giggle came from Allen. “I could make it so much worse~.” 

Kanda growled. “Get out of him!” 

Allen raised his head slowly, his skin gray. “Why would I do that? I need him~.” He flicked his yellow eyes to Link. “Oh another one….you exorcists are everywhere, like breeding rabbits.” He grinned then grunted when Tim launched himself at Allen’s head.  
“Stop that!”  
Tim bit his master's cheek, making Allen yelp and swat the ball away with a hair filled fist then he buried his face back into Kanda’s neck. “Damn ball.” He grumbled and pressed closer to Kanda. “ I hate sharing this body with Allen. His awful need to be close to you.”  
Kanda held the boy close to his chest and glanced at Link, who looked dumbfounded.  
“Nea Campbell?” Link asked.  
Allen raised a fist. “Half present!” He lifted his head again then launched himself out of Kanda’s arms and crawled into Link’s lap, grinning, grabbing the crows face. “I see your heart, Howard Link.” He whispered. “I know your feelings. You’re just as sinful as Yuu Kanda and Allen walker~.”  
Link had a face of confusion then he blushed lightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  
Allen/Nea laughed softly then leaned close to Links ear and whispered softly, making Link’s entire face turn beet red and he looked at Kanda in complete shock then he looked at the white haired boy again. “They didn’t!”  
“Oh they did! And it was soooo soft.” He rolled his eyes. “Boring and gentle.”  
Kanda’s eyes widened and he launched up, grabbing Nea and slammed him against the wall. “Be quiet!!” 

Nea grinned widely and grabbed Kanda’s uniform collar and yanked him close, eyes huge and wild.”finally gonna fuck Allen hard? Or I think I’ll have Tyki rape him as you next! I’ll leave his bones broken this time!” He laughed.  
Kanda raised a fist to punch the man, but Nea only laughed harder. “YES! Punch me! Traumatize him more! I NEVER WANT YOU TO TOUCH HIM AGAIN!”

Link stood and ripped Kanda away from Allen then punched Nea hard, sending him to the floor. “Kanda can’t punch you but I can!” Link snapped. 

Allen lay there a moment then groaned. “Thanks Link…” he mumbled and lifted his head, his Skin back to a pale pink. He sat up then grinned, His cheek red. “We found another way, Yuu, to get Nea out!” 

Kanda blinked then scoffed and knelt down. “Stop being so fucking optimistic.” He ruffled Allen’s hair gently. “By the way...Nea told Link...about us.”

Allen’s bright smile immediately fell and he looked at Link with a terrified look. “Link...I...we….”  
Link shook his head. “It’s ok...I won’t tell the director.”

Allen shook his head. “He already knows...just don’t tell anyone else ...Kanda and I could get Separated...he’s the only person who can be around Nea with any kind of safety…”  
Link nodded. “I’d expect so….”  
Allen slowly got up and he sighed, leaning against his boyfriend lightly. “Thanks again Link, for getting Nea out...everyone is in danger when he’s around, he could Summon Tyki, or worse, the earl…”  
Link's eyes widened. “The earl?” 

Allen nodded and leaned into Kanda’s touch when the man ran his fingers through Allen’s hair gently. “Nea and the earl...are brothers…”

Link's eyes narrowed. “Brothers?”  
Allen nodded. “Nea and Mana Campbell…”  
Link shook his head then looked at his watch. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but Kanda, you have to leave, quickly, Allen has a meeting with the director in a few minutes.” 

Kanda clicked his tongue and started to put his hair up. “Speak of any of this to anyone and I will stab you.” He said then grabbed Allen and kissed his forehead gently. “Be safe, lotus, don’t do dumb shit.” He mumbled then exited the room, Leaving Allen and Link alone with Tim. 

Allen’s cheeks where pink from Kanda’s kiss and he looked at link. “He will stab you.” He mumbled to him.  
“So I’ve been told.” Link said coolly. “Come on, let's go meet with the director.” He let Allen follow him out of the room.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for the beginning of the end

The director was sitting behind a desk, watching the two men enter. “Welcome…” 

Link bowed a little and straightened. “I’ve brought Allen as requested.”  
“Tell me Allen. What happened to your cheek?”  
Allen glared and shrugged. “I got punched.” It technically wasn’t a lie.  
The director just hummed and looked down at his papers. “Allen. I have someone I want you to meet.”  
The door opened and Allen turned, turning a sickly shade of green.  
It was his master. Marian Cross. “Hello, Allen.” He said in his deep voice reaching out a hand to touch Allen.  
“No!” Link said quickly, but was to late and watched Cross touch Allen’s head. 

Allen let out a screech of terror and moved away quickly, looking petrified. “Please, not again! Please! I can’t handle it again!!” He sobbed and backed against a wall, body trembling more violently than before.

The two Older men looked confused.  
Link cursed and got close to Allen. “Walker, calm down!”  
“GET AWAY!” He screamed and crowned clown suddenly curled around Allen and lashed out at Link. “I WON'T LET YOU DO IT AGAIN! I won’t let it happen again!!”  
Link moved away quickly and frowned. “Tim, go get Kanda! Quickly!” 

“What the hell is going on!?” Cross demanded and moved close to Allen. “Enough Allen!” He reached out to touch Allen again, but crowned clown lashed out again and slammed Cross into a wall, making the red haired man groan and stumble a little then snarl. “WHAT THE HELL YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!?” 

Allen held his head and trembled, his human fist full of his white hair. “Don't touch me...don’t touch me, Tyki….” he sobbed softly.  
Cross narrowed his eyes and his tense body relaxed a little but he jumped when the door slammed open.  
Kanda panted softly and he turned to see Allen, then Cross, and he cursed. “Fuck! Don’t tell me YOU touched him!” He demanded at cross then moved over to Allen. 

“Calm down Allen...it’s me…” he reached out a hand.  
Crowned clown lashed out again but Kanda dodged it narrowly. “Lotus, stop, listen to my voice, look at me.” 

Allen slowly lifted his head then let out a sob. “Yuu.” He stumbled forward into Kanda’s arms and started to sob hysterically against his chest.  
Kanda held him tightly. “It’s ok, it’s not him, it’s your master, he isn’t going to hurt you. It’s not him.” He whispered to him as Allen sobbed and trembled violently.

“What is going on?” The director demanded, standing up.  
Kanda glared at the man and held Allen closer, then he sighed. “Tyki Mikk.” He said simply. “Hes...raped Allen, as Cross, broke 4 ribs and a few fingers. Who knows who else tyki’s raped him as…” he mumbled, sick of telling people. 

Cross’s eyes widened. “Why would a Noah rape him?”  
“Because Nea fucking Campbell wanted him to.” Kanda snarled, pure hatred in his voice. “Nea is a twisted disgusting piece of shit! He wants to hurt Allen as much as possible, Allen is fighting him constantly.” 

Lvellie frowned. “Is Allen walker a danger to everyone?”  
“I can kinda control Nea, as long as I’m close to Allen, he won’t attack me.”  
Cross shook his head and watched Allen closely. “I didn’t think Nea would be this...aggressive..”  
Kanda turned his head slowly, a look of murder on his face. “You knew Nea would be a fucking psycho?” He snarled, letting go of Allen.”YOU KNEW!?” He roared.  
“Yuu…” Allen grabbed his arm, not looking at Cross. 

“Yes I knew, I didn’t think he would be this abusive to Allen’s body tho.” Cross narrowed his eye. “But that’s none of your concern.”  
“Not my concern? NOT MY CONCERN!?” Kanda roared and drew mugan. “It’s absolutely my problem!” 

Cross drew his gun and point it at Kanda. “I suggest you back off, boy.” He said coldly. “If Allen wasn’t acting so weak, this wouldn’t happen! I raised him to be strong!” 

This made Allen twitch. “Raise me? You?” He said. “Mana raised me to be strong, you raised me to cheat!”  
Cross’s eyebrow twitched. “I’m the one who pulled you out of your traumatized state! I raised you from there!” 

Allen pushed his face into Kanda’s arm, staying quite.  
Kanda vibrated with held back anger. “You could have prevented Tyki! You knew! You could have stopped all of this!!” He snapped.  
“Nea needed to come back!” Cross snapped back.  
Kanda shook his head hard. “You’ve doomed Allen!!”

“Nea needs to take down the earl!” 

“Stop it!!” Lvellie snapped, slamming his fist on his desk. 

Allen pressed close to Kanda and glared at Cross.  
Kanda’s body stayed tense and vibrated with his rage.

“Link, take Allen walker back to his room.” The director snapped.  
Link moved forward. “Come on, Allen.”  
Kanda glared at Link; still looking furious, he scooped up Allen like a princess, storming out of the room, poor Link hurrying after them.

Kanda carried Allen down the hallway, his long legs making Link have to hurry to keep up. “Kanda; wait!” 

“Fuck off, I want alone time with Allen.” He snapped at link and opened his door then kicked it close in Links face.

“Yuu…” Allen whispered and cupped his cheek.  
Kanda sighed and sat on his bed; still holding Allen close to him.  
Allen hugged his neck gently and played with his long pony tail. “Talk to me, Yuu.” 

Kanda pushed his face into Allen’s shoulder. “What if I loose you to Nea? You’re my reason to live Allen. I love you.” 

Allen blushed lightly and kissed his forehead. “You won’t loose me, my heart will always belong to you.” He whispered to him. “I will forever be yours.” 

Kanda lifted his head and cupped Allen’s cheek gently. “But What If Nea takes you away from me?” He whispered.  
“I won’t let him, I’ll never stop fighting him.”  
Kanda hugged his waist and nuzzled into his shoulder.  
Allen kissed his head gently. “Don’t worry.” He whispered.  
Kanda looked up at him and sighed softly.  
Allen frowned softly and caressed his cheek. “Do you ever miss Alma…?”

Kanda frowned deeply. “Of course I do, even when I thought he was dead before, I missed him...he was technically my soulmate.”  
A twinge is sadness hit Allen but he pushed it down.  
Kanda saw the sadness in Allen’s eyes and he hugged his waist. “But Alma is gone, no point looking to the past when I have you in my future.”  
Allen blushed and couldn’t help but smile as kanda kissed his face.  
“What more could I want?” Kanda whispered to him lovingly. “Now get the hell off me, your butt is crushing my thighs.”  
Allen laughed and stood up. “You’re such a charmer.” He teased. “All the ladies swoon.”  
Kanda wrinkled his nose. “I hope not. Most women weird me out.”  
Allen rolled his eyes. “That would explain the gay.” He mumbled.  
A vain twitched on kandas head and he opened his mouth to yell at Allen but froze when Link burst in. “Pardon the Intrusion. But...you two need to see this….”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more long ass chapter then it’s FINISHED

They arrived in the one of the Science rooms, everyone was crowded around the monitors, whispering, but as soon as the door closed they all turned to look at them in complete silence.  
Kamui straightened up. “Allen, good you’re here. Maybe you can explain.”  
Allen raised an eyebrow and walked over to the monitor then covered his mouth, feeling Nea laugh inside him.  
Alma Karma was standing there, staring at the camera. “Did I come to the right place?” He asked into the camera. “I’m looking for Yuu! Yuu Kanda!”  
Kanda pushed past people to look at the screen. “Alma?” He whispered, completely in shock. “There’s no way!”  
“Allen, I want you to go out and meet him.” Kamui said. “Kanda, stay inside.”  
Allen turned to Kanda and put a hand on his chest gently. “I’ll figure out what’s going on.” He whispered to him then walked away.  
He met Alma at the door and poked his head out. “Hi.” He stepped out.  
Alma gave Allen a bright smile. “Hi! I’m Alma!”  
Allen nodded. “I know who you are, Alma.”  
Alma beamed more. “I’m looking for Yuu!”  
Allen folded his arms and smiled softly. “Kanda is busy right now. But I’m here to make sure you’re not crazy.”  
Alma laughed softly. “I don’t think I’m crazy, not this time at least.”  
Allen narrowed his eyes. “This time?”  
“Yah, last time I was awake, I kinda went a little crazy.”  
Allen glanced at the camera then at Alma. “How are you here? Kanda said you died in his arms.”  
Alma frowned and shook his head. “I don’t know what happened, but I woke up in some city….i knew I had to find Yuu.”  
Allen frowned and his fingers twitched, Nea was laughing harder in the back of Allen’s head. He shook his head and sighed. “How do I know you’re not an Akuma?” He asked.  
Alma tilted his head then pulled out a long sword. “I can wield this.” He smiled.  
Allen took the sword and felt the innocence inside. He glanced at Alma then the sword before giving it back, he turned quickly when he heard shouting from behind the door then jumped back when a very angry Kanda burst out.  
“YUU!” Alma said happily and threw his arms out to hug Kanda, who put a hand on Almas forehead to keep him at arms length, a nerve twitching in his cheek. “Shortstack!” He barked at Allen; who jumped and blinked in surprise, he was so used to Kanda’s gentle voice. “Assessment?”  
Allen blinked again. “OH! he seems ok. He’s got innocence with him?” He shrugged and watched his boyfriend as he moved his arm and let Alma hug him. 

Allen felt his heart twinge as Alma beamed up at kanda lovingly. “I knew I’d find you again.” Alma whispered.  
Kanda sighed and put a hand on Almas cheek. “How are you here? You died in my arms, Alma.” 

“That doesn’t matter right now, we’re together again.” Alma whispered and kissed kanda.  
Allen’s entire body tensed up and he felt tears gather in his eyes, his heart burned with jealousy and anger. 

Kanda pushed Alma off and growled. “What the hell, Alma?”  
Alma blushed brightly and blinked in shock. “I-I don’t know what came over me!”  
Kanda scoffed and glanced at Allen, his anger melting from his eyes at the sight of Allen’s sad eyes. 

Allen gave him a sad smile. “Come on you two, I’m sure Kamui will be happy to see you, Alma.” Allen turned away and walked inside, feeling tim attach himself to Allen’s hair.  
Alma of course grabbed Kanda’s hand and followed Allen, beaming like the happiest moron. “This place is beautiful.” Alma looked at Kanda, who was watching the back of Allen’s head. 

Allen stepped into kamui’s office and he stepped off to stand by the wall.  
Kanda went to stand by Allen but Alma held his hand tight. “Stay close to me...please?” Whispered the second.  
Kanda grimaced and glanced at Allen then nodded. “Fine, just stop touching me.” He pulled his hand away.  
Kamui looked at Alma and frowned. “How are you here Alma?” 

The boy grimaced and immediately leaned against Kanda. “I don’t know, I woke up in some ruined city and I was all alone...I just had one thought in my head.” He looked at Knda lovingly, “I had to find Yuu.”  
Kanda grimaced and crossed his arms. “Stop being so damn sappy, it’s nauseating.” He grumped.  
Alma just laughed softly. 

Kamui hummed lightly. “Allen, Kanda, why don’t you go for a walk, I’ll have someone come get you.”  
Kanda nodded and pulled away from Alma, walking over to Allen touching his arm with a gentleness that made Almas blood curdle with anger.  
Kanda led allen out and walked with him in silence then pulled him into an empty room. “Lotus are you ok?” Kanda asked softly and cupped his cheek gently. 

Allen leaned into Kanda’s hand, pressing his face into Kanda’s palm. “Alma’s back….” he whispered. “Your soulmate is back….”  
Kanda shook his head and hugged Allen tightly, his heart was torn. He loved Allen, but he also loved Alma. “Fuck…” he whispered softly and pet Allen’s hair, feeling the boy tremble against him. Allen needed him, he was Allen’s safe place.  
“I love you.” Whimpered Allen.  
Kanda frowned and kissed his head. “I love you too….” He whispered. “I want to be with you.”  
Allen looked up at him. “Promise?” He whispered.  
Kanda nodded and kissed him gently.  
They pulled away after a moment and Kanda hummed softly. “Come on.” He pulled him out of the room and they walked together down the hallway.  
Kanda would kiss Allen’s head when no one was around, whispering little ‘I love you’s here and there; making Allen feel warm and fuzzy. But all his happy fuzzy feelings came crashing down when Alma appeared.  
“Yuu!” He said happily and ran over, hugging his arm. “They accepted me!”  
Kanda blinked then grunted. “Cool I guess.” He mumbled, touching the small of Allen’s back.  
Alma hugged Kanda’s waist. “Show me around! You and Allen seem to spend a lot of time together! It’s my turn!”  
Kanda grimaced and glanced at Allen, who smiled softly “I’ll see you later, I’ll come by your room later tonight.”  
Kanda nodded and smiled. “See you tonight.” He pulled away from Allen and huffed as Alma pulled him away  
***

Later that night, Allen walked to Kanda’s room and knocked lightly, he was excited to see Kanda after not seeing him most of the day, he was going to bother kanda into taking a bath with him, wanting Kanda’s soft neck kisses and sweet words. “Kanda?” He opened the door and froze.  
Allen watched Alma pull away from Kanda’s lips, wiping his mouth. “Oh, hey Allen.” He smiled brightly.  
Kanda shoved Alma away hard. “Lotus…it’s not what you think….” He moved forward.  
Allen stood there then tears gathered in his eyes. “Yuu….I...l…” He glanced between the two then he started to pant and stumbled back, his head suddenly felt like it was splitting.  
Kanda knew exactly what was happening and rushed forward, reaching out to hold Allen up, but Allen smacked his hand away, panting softly. “Don’t touch me…” Allen mumbled and leaned against the wall, his eyes a pale yellow, “d-don’t touch me…”He slid down the wall, tears streaming down his cheek. 

“Lotus, you cant let him take over, fight him.” Kanda knelt beside him, despite Allen’s weak fighting, he picked Allen up. He shot alma a death glare. “Get the hell out.” 

Alma frowned. “What’s going on?”  
“He’s having a Noah attack, you need to leave, you caused it.” He snarled at Alma, sitting on the bed and pulling his hair down. “Come back to me, Lotus.” He whispered to Allen and kissed his head, “come back to me.”  
“Yuu; you two seem awfully close…” Alma whispered.

“We are.” He growled. “Allen's ...everything to me…” he whispered as Allen panted harshly, gripping Kanda’s hair.  
A giggle came from Alma. “Do you want him more then me? I thought we were soul mates.”  
Kanda narrowed His eyes and looked at Alma. “You died. I moved on.”  
Alma got a crazed grin and laughed softly. “Do you love him?”  
Allen suddenly jerked up and stood right in Alma’s face. Skin gray, eyes bright yellow. “Alma Karma.” He whispered. “So it did work, I didn’t think I had that power yet.”  
“It wasn’t just you.”  
Nea grinned. “He wants me home that much? How did you know upsetting Allen would draw me out?” 

“He seems like a snowflake, easy to melt away.”  
Nea laughed coldly then turned to Kanda and walked over, pressing a kiss to his head. “Good bye.” 

Kanda frowned and stood. “What!?”  
Nea smiled sweetly, “we have to leave now, but we’ll be back.” He grinned. 

“No! You can’t leave!” Kanda grabbed Allen’s arm but Nea swatted him away. “Don’t worry, I’m not seeing joyd, no, I have to visit my sweet brother~.”  
He backed away from kanda then grabbed Alma and they vanished.  
Kanda stood there, dumbfounded. 

****

Nea stepped onto the ark with his Akuma and grinned. “Ah~ the ark~ it’s been so long.” He said happily as he started to walk. “Let’s walk, shall we?” He told Alma, pushing his white hair from his face. 

They wondered the empty ark, Nea humming.  
“Nea, where are we going?” Alma asked.  
Nea glanced at him and grinned. “We’re not, we’re waiting for my beloved brother to notice~.” He sneered then opened a random door and hummed at the empty void then kept walking, opening random doors.  
By the 9th or 10th door, there was a chair in the middle of an empty room, a man was chained to the chair. 

This snapped Allen back into control and he gasped. “Lavi!” He ran over and grabbed onto his shoulders. “Lavi! It’s Allen! Wake up!”  
Lavi slowly lifted his head and his eyes widened, a bloody mess. “Allen? Are you real?”  
“Very.” Allen started to undo his binds. “Let’s get you out of here.” He whispered.  
There was the sound of walking from outside and Lavi tensed up. “He’s back.” He whispered. “Run, Allen, please, if he catches you….”  
Allen shook his head. “I’m not leaving you, Lavi.” He whispered and kept working at the binds.  
Lavi froze and stared at the door.  
“Nea?” Came a cool voice that made Allen pale and start to tremble. He lifted his head to see none other than Tyki Mikk, Road standing behind him, Sherill behind them.  
Road pushed past Tyki and ran over to Allen and hugged him. “Nea!”  
“/What are you doing here?”/ Came road’s voice in his head.  
Allen just stared at Tyki then pushed road off and kept working at Lavi’s ties.  
“What are you doing!?” Sherill demanded and moved forward.  
The ties fell and Allen stood. “Move! Now!” He told the Noah. “Lavi Bookman is leaving!!” 

Sherill narrowed his eyes. “No!”  
Allen helped Lavi to his feet and stepped forward. “I command you as the earl!” 

“Nea has that power! Not you!” Sherill snapped.  
Allen tensed up then closed his eyes. “Nea.”  
He could feel Nea stir like a coiled snake.  
Allen opened his eyes in the wheat field, Nea standing in front of him.

“Help him!” Allen pleaded, “get Lavi back to the order and I’ll...I’ll let you have control for an hour!”  
Nea raised an eyebrow.  
“Two hours!”  
Nea just laughed softly.  
“I’ll let you sleep with Tyki and I won’t fight you!”  
This seemed to spark his Interest, “3 hours and Tyki.” He said Cooley. “And I get to punch Yuu Kanda when I get the chance.”  
“Fine! Just help Lavi!” 

Nea opened his eyes and grinned. “Now now Sherill, Allen Walker needs this Bookman.” He walked toward the Noah, dragging the bloody boy with him.  
He ran a hand over Tyki’s chest as he passed.  
Lavi frowned and watched Allen. “Allen?”  
“Not quite~.” Nea grinned. “But walker and I made a deal. I save you, he gives me control for a while! You can tell Yuu Kanda that Allen agreed to let me sleep with Joyd.”  
Lavi frowned and stopped in front of the ark gate. “Alright, now go, this will drop you off at the orders front door.”  
“What about the old man?” Lavi asked.  
Nea rolled his yellow eyes. “Yah yah; if I find him.” He turned away when Lavi stumbled thru the gate and grinned widely. 

*****  
Nea stood infront of his brother and grinned widely. “Mana~.”  
Mana watched Nea and the Akuma Alma from the head of his table. “Why did you come?”  
“To kill you of course.” He grinned.  
Mana shook his head. “You won’t be killing me, Nea….”  
Nea laughed softly and shook his head. “My friend will be helping me.” He looked at Alma.  
Alma just giggled and looked at the earl. “I want to use Allen Walker to hurt Kanda.” Alma said. “Then I’ll do what you asked.”  
The earl nodded. “Just make sure you can wipe out the order as well.”  
Nea frowned and looked at Alma who giggled then punched him hard in the stomach, knocking him unconscious.  
Alma caught him and hoisted his limp body up.  
The earl turned to Road. “Send word to the order, war is coming.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who read it!  
Please comment your thoughts and feelings!  
I could use feed back  
I am making a part two! Tyki’s ‘route’ I’ll be posting it soon so keep a lookout

The letter reached the order within minutes. Kanda had already told kamui that Alma had betrayed them and had taken Allen, Lavi was being patched up in the med room. Scouts, an hour later, had told the order that hundreds upon thousands of Akuma where gathering in a wave. The generals were gathered in a room, along with Kanda.  
“Kanda, we’re appointing you a general.” Kamui said.  
Kanda raised an eyebrow and snorted. “And what makes you think I want that position?”  
“You don’t get a choice! The earl has finally declared a full out war! You’re strong! I want you on the front line!” 

“My only concern is getting Allen back!” Kanda snapped.  
Lvellie stood. “Yes, your lover, if you choose to abandon this fight to keep your lover safe, I will have you both hunted down and killed!” He snapped angrily, revealing the two men’s secret.

The generals whispered and looked at eachother. Cross was the first to stand. “I’ll fight beside Kanda to get Allen back, he’s one of our strongest exorcists.  
Tiedoll stood as well. “I fight with Kanda to protect my son.” 

The others stood as well. All agreeing.  
Kanda nodded at the generals then glared at Lvellie. “I’ll take the title, but only to find Allen. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a flower to find.” He turned and walked out, he was fuming and angry, if Lvellie wanted to hunt them down then so be it! His only concern was his boyfriend! His lotus. Worry started to bubble up in his gut as he walked. 

(Heavily inspired by the song “ the plagues “from the prince of Egypt,  
Kanda is Moses’s voice  
Alma is ramasys)) 

Everyone at the order was in a panic, rushing around as the wave of Akuma got closer and closer to the order. Kanda watched Noiz kiss Miranda’s forehead and hug her, watched as Crory put a worried hand on timothy's head, Watched as the order said goodbye to loved ones.  
He clenched his fist and snarled. Allen was somewhere with the Noah, his lotus was in danger and he had to save him!  
“Kanda! KANDA!” A hand grabbed Kanda’s shoulder and he turned angrily. Tiedoll stood in front of Kanda. “Are you alright?” His adoptive father asked, a look of worry on his face.  
“Alright? ALRIGHT!? No! We’re at war and Allen is out there somewhere! He could be dead for all I know!” He snapped angrily. “He’s with the Noah! He’s with Alma!!” He turned away. “I need to get ready…”  
“Kanda, wait!” Tiedoll grabbed his arm and pulled the angry man into a hug. “You’ll get thru this, you’ll find him.”  
Kanda just pushed him away and snarled then stormed away. He had a war to lead. He glanced out the window to see the rain starting to fall lightly. 

The exorcist rushed from the building and thru the forest. Kanda walked out, seeing the huge Akuma in the distance. “Lotus.” He whispered. “I’ll find you.”

They arrived at a near town that had been destroyed, hundreds of exorcists swarmed the destroyed city. 

Kanda stood on the front lines with the other generals, waiting as the rain drizzled.  
Then Alma stepped out from the woods. A grin on his face, his Akuma body tense. “Hey Kanda!” He waved and giggled then opened his hand. “I can save you if you come with me, I can take you to Nea!”  
Kanda held mugan tighter as he took a step closer. “Where is Allen!?” He demanded. “Tell me alma!!” 

Alma just grinned more. “You’re my lover, Kanda, let me make you happy again! Hurting you is the last thing I want!” 

Kanda narrowed his eyes as the rain started to come down harder, his soaked pony tail and clothes whipping in the cold wind. “You were my brother, Alma! You’re going to kill thousands of innocent lives! Let Allen go! All those who suffer because of your pride!! You have a good heart!” He yelled to him.

Alma let out a crazed laughed “then let my heart be hardened! I don’t care how many people are killed!” He suddenly rushed forward, his sythe hand appearing as he swung at kanda. As he moved, all the Akuma rushed from the trees.  
Kanda moved quickly to dodge Alma’s slash and he swung at Alma, their blades clashing hard. “Stop this, alma!” He yelled.  
“Never!!” Alma screamed and kicked kanda hard in the chest, making him stumble back.  
They clashed weapons for what felt like eternity, evenly matched.  
Kanda rolled away and turned, snarling when he saw Tyki Mikk attack an exorcist.  
Kanda vanished from Alma’s vision to rush at Tyki, slashing his back.  
Tyki yelled and turned then narrowed his eyes. “You!” He roared and lunged at kanda. Who dodged quickly and slashed upward, cutting open Tyki’s stomach. 

The Noah gagged and stumbled back, holding his stomach.  
Kanda walked threateningly after him. “This is for the shit you did to Allen!” He roared and slashed Tyki’s head clean off.  
There was a bloodcurdling scream from somewhere in the distance from Road. (I mean same when Tyki eventually dies)  
Kanda kicked the body over. “Pathetic.” He whispered and walked away. He was on a fury filled war path. Ready to kill anyone and everyone that got between him and Allen Walker.  
“Kanda!” Came a voice behind him, who turned quickly. 

Alma held Allen by his hair. “Is this what you wanted?” Alma sneered.  
“Yuu!” Allen winced, Kanda was covered in blood, his eyes full of rage, soaked to the bone with the hard rain.  
“Lotus!” Kanda stepped forward.  
Alma put his sythe up to Allen’s throat. “The earl said I can kill Nea.” He laughed.  
Allen’s eyes watered and he trembled. “Kanda...go, please. It’s a trap!”  
Alma snarled and forced Allen onto his knees. “Who do you love?” He asked Kanda. “Me or Allen walker!?” 

Kanda clenched his fists. “Allen walker! I love him! Now let him go!”  
Alma’s eyes twitched then he raised his arm and stabbed right thru Allen’s stomach.  
Allen gagged and he coughed up blood, his eyes huge. “Yuu?” He mumbled then slumped to the ground when Alma pulled out his blade. “How about now!?” Alma laughed.

Kanda stood there, completely frozen for a second. “Lotus…”he mumbled then screeched and rushed at Alma, slashing and hacking without form or care.  
Alma could barely block his blows. For a moment they where eventually matched again. They pulled away to pant softly.  
Alma grinned and rushed at Kanda again but was stopped by a large white cloak that curled in front of Kanda.  
Allen stumbled to his feet, blood splattering onto the ground. His Akuma hand dragged a little in the mud. “Get away from him.” Allen mumbled, stumbling over.  
Alma just started to laugh. “You think /you/? Can stop me!?” He laughed loudly.  
Allen grimaced then rushed forward and slashed at Alma, crowned clown wrapping around Allen to protect him.  
Kanda rushed at Alma at the same time, matching his lover.  
Alma laughed and jumped away slashing at Allen, cutting his human arm.  
Allen winced and stumbled a little then glanced at Kanda.  
Kanda panted angrily and met eyes with Allen for only a second before they both rushed at Alma again.  
Alma dodges them again, grabbing Allen by the hair and throwing him hard against the ground.  
Allen coughed up more blood and struggled to get to his feet, he was pale and dizzy from blood loss, but he had to keep fighting. He had to protect Kanda.

Alma grinned madly. “How pathetic and weak!” He laughed. “DIE ALREADY!” 

Kanda moved in front of Allen, who was still struggling to get up. “You should have stayed dead, Alma!!” He yelled and rushed at Alma.  
Alma danced away and laughed wildly.  
There was a loud yell and a hammer slammed into almas head.  
Kanda stepped back. “Lavi!” 

“Hey Kanda!” Lavi said brightly. “Thought you could use some help!” He stood beside Kanda, Allen coming to stand on kandas other side. “Let’s end this!” Allen panted.

——————-

Alma stumbled a little and glared at the three men then smirked and rushed right for Kanda only to change direction and go for Allen, who was the weakest at the moment.  
Crowned clown acted quickly and grabbed Alma, throwing him to the side, but Alma easily regained his balance and rushed at Allen again.  
Kanda moved at just the right moment and pushed his sword thru almas chest, right thru his heart.  
Alma stumbled back and looked down at the sword. “Ha! Look at that…” he mumbled then fell back.  
Kanda panted softly then turned to Allen and grabbed him before he could collapse. “Lotus….”

Allen panted and trembled, he was covered in blood and white as a sheet. “Yuu…” he mumbled and reached up a shaky hand. “You’re so warm.”  
Kanda started to panic and pulled off his uniform and pressed it over the hole in Allen’s stomach. “Lavi! Go find help! Now!” He roared.  
Lavi watched then ran off to get help.  
“Hold on lotus, hold on.” He whispered and cupped Allen’s cheek.  
Allen leaned into his touch lightly, reaching up a hand to grab part of Kanda’s hair. “You’re so beautiful, Yuu.”  
“Shhhh.” Kanda whispered and kissed his forehead.  
Allen smiled weakly. “When this is all over, can we move somewhere quite, with flowers?” He asked softly, his eyes out of focus. “Where we can live peacefully.”  
“We can go anywhere you want. We can go anywhere.” Kanda whispered. “I’d follow you anywhere, lotus.”  
Allen stared at the sky and smiled softly. “I love you, Yuu Kanda.” He whispered.  
“I love you too, Allen Walker .” Kanda whispered and placed a kiss on Allen’s lips then looked at him.

Allen stared at nothing, his beautiful violet eyes where empty.

“Lotus?” Kanda whispered then shook his head. “Allen? ALLEN!!” He picked up Allen’s limp body and held it close. For the first time in a very long time, Kanda started to cry. “Allen! Please! Stay with me! Please!” He sobbed and pressed his face into Allen’s hair. “Don’t leave me! I love you, lotus, please you’re all i have!!”

A hand touched Kanda’s head and he jerked away. “He’s gone, Kanda.” It was Kamui.  
Kanda shook his head. “He’s not gone, we were supposed to be together ...we were gonna go somewhere safe….” he whispered and held Allen close to his body. “I love him...I need him.”  
Kamui knelt down. “I know you loved him, but he’s gone.”  
***** 

Allen opened his eyes and blinked, back in the wheat field. He spun around and frowned.  
“Allen.”  
Allen turned then smiled. It was Mana, people stood behind Mana, people Allen knew. Bookman, chaozii, tup, Sumon, other exorcists.  
Mana smiled and held his arms out. “It’s time to go, Allen. You can finally stop walking.”  
Allen took a step forward then frowned and turned around. “What about Kanda…?”  
“You’ll see him soon, you can come get him when it’s his turn.” Said Bookman.  
Allen turned back, looking at all the people he’d lost. “What about Nea…?”  
“Nea is gone, with the other Noah’s.” Mana said sadly then held out his hands. “Come on, son.”  
Allen looked behind himself one more time then turned back to Mana and happily ran into his arms. He would wait for Kanda, he would be there for kanda when it was his time to stop walking. 

***  
Kanda sat in the med room, most of his friends had survived the fight, tho Kanda didn’t care anymore. He sat in a chair and stared at nothing, holding the mask of crowned clown close to his chest. He felt nothing. Saw nothing. An empty shell, he had refused all the attempts to patch him up, hoping he would bleed out before his body healed itself.

“Kanda?” Came Lenalee’s soft voice, but Kanda didn’t answer. He felt the hand on his shoulder and he barely shifted his eyes.  
“Come on Kanda, it’s time to eat.” She said in a soft sympathetic voice.  
Kanda turned his eyes away, not moving.  
“Please...you’ve got to eat something ...I know you're sad but…”  
Kanda remained silent and unmoving.  
She sighed and moved away.  
The exorcist closed his eyes and tried to keep his tears held back as his grip on Allen’s mask tightened.  
His lotus. His lover. The person he would have gladly spent the rest of his life with. The person he had been living for. The person who made him forget the horrors of the world. Gone. What was the point of living if Allen wasn’t there?  
He Opened his eyes. How could he possibly kill himself? He could regenerate. Poison maybe? Drowning?  
He got up slowly. Might as well get started, try everything till it worked. He walked down the hallway to the science labs and stopped in front of the cabinets.  
He opened it and grabbed out a few bottles, Arsenic, cyanide, ricin, Brodifacoum.  
“So many choices….” He whispered and grabbed one.  
“I wouldn’t use any of those, it’ll be a painful experience.” Said a voice behind him.  
Kanda turned to look at Johnny. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said in an empty tone.

“I know what you’re doing, Kanda...I know you want to be with Allen…” Johnny said softly.  
Kanda frowned and looked down. “I do...trouble is, It’s really hard to kill me….”  
Johnny nodded. “Your regeneration….”  
Kanda sighed and looked down at Allen’s mask. “I want to be with him, we were supposed to leave the order...live somewhere nice and peaceful ...leave this life behind….” He smiled sadly, tears gathering in his eyes. “We were gonna be happy….”  
“You can be happy again…”Johnny said softly.  
“How?”  
“Carbon monoxide.”  
Kanda frowned. “English.”  
“It’ll make you fall asleep and you won’t wake up.”  
Kanda frowned more then nodded. “Works for me.” He turned to him. “When can we do it.” 

Johnny adjusted his glasses. “Probably Tomorrow night..”

Kanda nodded and sighed. “Thank you Johnny…” he said softly then walked out and back to his room. He sat on his bed and let tim canpy sit on his shoulder. “I know...I miss him too….” Kanda mumbled to the yellow ball. “I get to see him soon….” he closed his eyes as Tim gently patted Kanda’s face.  
Kanda pulled his long hair down and sighed. “Allen…” He whispered then laid down and sobbed into his pillow.

The next day was hard for Kanda, he didn’t really talk to anyone, or eat, he just wanted it to be over.  
Lenalee tried her hardest to make Kanda happy, so did Lavi. But nothing helped, Kanda just held Allen’s mask and stared at nothing, he hadn’t even put his hair up.  
By night, Kanda was sitting in the Science department. Johnny rigging up a little room with tubes. “Are you sure about this?” He asked Kanda as he tapped a few buttons on the computer.  
Kanda nodded and sat inside the room on the floor, leaning against the wall. “Allen was my reason to live…” He mumbled. “Now he’s my reason to die.” 

Johnny frowned. “Sleep well, Yuu Kanda.” He said softly and pressed a button.  
Kanda smiled sadly. “See you in the next life, Johnny.” He said as his eyes slowly drifted close.

“Yuu?” Came a voice.  
Kanda opened his eyes and winced at the bright sun and covered it with a hand then slowly sat up and looked around, sitting in a huge field of wheat, an old house in the distance.  
“Yuu!”  
Kanda whipped around and his eyes watered. “Lotus!”  
Allen beamed and waved then ran over,smiling . “Hey, beautiful.” He offered a hand.  
Kanda took it and stood up then pulled Allen into a tight hug.  
Allen nuzzled into Kanda’s chest and smiled. “I missed you too.”  
Kanda pulled away a little and looked down at Allen, cupping his cheek. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

Allen leaned into his touch and smiled. “Don’t worry, you and I can be together forever.” He said lovingly then grabbed Kanda’s hand. “Come on, you and I have a lot of walking to do.” He smiled and they started walking together towards the house, their world peaceful at last.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again  
Some fun facts!  
1\. I researched for 3 hours ways to kill you self.  
2\. In the original plot Tyki was supposed to fall in love with Allen not Nea!  
3\. Allen was going to be a lot traumatized, but I didn’t want to make it too dark!  
4\. I wrote this entire fan fiction way to quickly


End file.
